On a date, I'd like to give a woman flowers as a little present. What's the best thing for her to do with them? I mean, if I imagine to be a woman getting flowers, I'd feel real bad throwing them away but if I don't, carrying them around will also annoy me.

What is the proper protocol for giving a date flowers to avoid these problems?

  • Could you not give the flowers at the end of the date or at least carry them for her until the end of the date? Commented Jul 18, 2018 at 1:01
  • 5
    Are you picking her up at her home? Meeting her somewhere? How big of a bouquet? Where are you in the world?
    – Catija
    Commented Jul 18, 2018 at 1:05
  • Just a small bouquet; I'm in Germany; let's say I meet her somewhere. Giving the flowers at the end seems weird, the flowers are sort of supposed to play the role of a nice introduction or first impression.
    – D. Rusin
    Commented Jul 18, 2018 at 22:11

1 Answer 1


When giving somebody a gift, consider the logistics the other person will face in handling it. This is true whether you're giving a kid a puppy (are you sure it will be cared for?), a spouse a surprise vacation (can we just pick up and go now?), or, in your case, a date some fresh flowers.

Fresh flowers need to be put in a vase or similar container with water. Other kinds of flowers (dried arrangement, potted plant, whatever) still need to be put somewhere so that neither of you is carrying them around as you go out to dinner and a movie. To satisfy these constraints, you give the flowers to your date at her house when you arrive, and you wait for her to put them in a vase. (If you have any reason to believe she might not have a suitable receptacle, you should consider other options.) This means you need to go to her house, not meet her somewhere else and not sit out in your car and honk your horn to let her know you're ready.

We can't tell you what gift might be appropriate, especially since you haven't said where you are. I'm answering based on both past experience with receiving flowers (in the US) and a broader gift protocol that says a gift should not impose difficulties on someone you're hoping to please.

  • That's a neat idea: To give her the flowers at her home so she can put them in a vase; this way she will even see them again for the next couple days :-)
    – D. Rusin
    Commented Jul 18, 2018 at 22:15
  • I like the idea of viewing this as a "protocol"
    – D. Rusin
    Commented Jul 18, 2018 at 22:17

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