My and my gf have been together for about 3 months now and everything has been pretty good. But recently we have spent some time apart since she is at home (we live at college and she's home for the summer) and we've been running into some problems.
It normally happens when I try to ask her about things that I do which bother her. For example, one of the things that I had a problem with was that during the school year I felt like I was the person in the relationship who always planned everything. Whether it be simply to get lunch, or to hang out that night, or plan for a trip, I would always be the one to ask to spend time with her. Not that she doesn't like spending time with me, I just felt that our relationship was a bit one-sided where I was the one always asking to be in her company and she would agree. I didn't mind doing the planning, I just feared sometimes I was being too intrusive and wasn't giving her enough space, and she was too scared to ask me to give her some.
The problem occurred when I tried hinting at this issue I saw and explained to her how I was feeling about always being the one to ask. She said she didn't mind spending all that time with me, but her body language said otherwise and I could sense she wasn't telling me all her thoughts. But I let it go and moved the conversation to something different, to avoid the uncomfortable situation.
After two weeks I had a long conversation with her about the usual stuff, but I attempted to try to ask her again why she didn't like sharing all her thoughts with me. And I had asked this unsuccessfully before a couple of times but she always answers with "I don't know" or "I don't know what you want me to say" (as if I am expecting an answer that I want her to say to make me feel happy), but it still seems she is trying to avoid the problem and not tell me what she really thinks.
And just this week I tried asking her again, and she finally opened up a bit more since she could tell I was frustrated. I was partly frustrated because I thought she didn't want to tell me her feelings, but also that I couldn't find the right way to phrase my questions so that she would feel more comfortable answering them. But during this argument, she did tell me something different and said that she didn't like when we argued in this manner because she thinks she'll lose me. For context: she's been in other relationships before me and has told me that she always ends up getting hurt, and when she met me she felt so happy since I seemed so much different and that I truly cared for her. So I feel that because of that she is afraid that I will leave her or something, which I won't, simply because we are having a bit of trouble communicating.
So to make this brief. Basically, I come here for advice on how to phrase my questions better or be able to understand my girlfriend's point of view more clearly. And why she gets upset/closes off to me when I try to find out more about her feelings.