I am the Vice President of Recruitment for my fraternity at my university and at the moment recruitment is a very important element, as we are only two years old.

The chapter I am a part of is a "restart" of a chapter that had been there for many years, but got kicked off campus year earlier. Because of this, the alumni association is very strong and very determined to build a successful chapter. I have a mentor who I talk to almost weekly about strategy as well as the state of the chapter.

In my position, I am not supposed to be contacted directly by alumni yet this is not the case. I often receive long texts and emails from different alumni asking about how recruitment is going and also with tips and advice, very little of which is helpful or something I do not already know. I sometimes get requests for conference calls with them about recruitment but the calls are often at least an hour and consist of them just telling me I need to recruit, and this is something I clearly know and have been doing successfully. It is beginning to feel like it is not even student run anymore.

I absolutely understand why the alumni do this, they are very passionate and have a right to be; however, the constant contact is a hindrance and an annoyance. I have talked to the president of the chapter about this since he is supposed to be the one in close contact with alumni. I have also talked to my mentor but neither option has improved the situation. I am not sure if the alumni do not listen to my mentor or if he is just not telling them what I have told him. I am considering telling the alumni directly but I do not want to come off as ungrateful.

What is a good plan of action in tackling this problem?

  • 2
    Welcome to Interpersonal Skills! I invite you to take the tour and visit our help center to learn more about the site and its guidelines. Good first question, by the way. :)
    – NVZ
    Commented Aug 11, 2017 at 18:15
  • 1
    Does "the alumni association" have a president?
    – user1760
    Commented Aug 12, 2017 at 13:43
  • 1
    @ab2 it is a different title but essentially yes but he is one of the alumni that contacts me too often Commented Aug 12, 2017 at 19:56
  • 1
    @MatthewRead To ensure there is some order. They are supposed to contact the President. If there are no rules about not contacting the other members they can overwhelm people since the alumni do not exactly coordinate talking to certain members. Nobody wants ten people to ask one undergraduate member the same question. Commented Aug 14, 2017 at 19:00
  • 3
    Maybe don't put your actual name on this? Commented Aug 24, 2017 at 20:46

2 Answers 2


You should make a standard response email that basically says:

Thank you for your input, I will take it into consideration. However, according to rule (insert rule here), I am not supposed to be in direct contact with alumni. If you wish to continue communication, please direct it through (the actual person to contact).

Thank you,


Use something like this as a standard response to everything. Take precautions so you don't get in trouble for talking to them if you aren't supposed to.


I have been in a couple of different fraternity situations that are similar to yours, in that I was a Founding Father for our chapter and served as VP Recruitment for a year, and I was also an advisor as an alumni to a chapter that was also going through a restart.

You should have an alumni advisor for your chapter, and when you get these unsolicited texts, emails or phone calls, respond as @Collatri suggests, and possibly add something positive about them wanting to be involved.

The other possibility (And I don't know if this already exists for you or not) is for the alumni to have their own alumni chapter. If they do not, you could suggest they start one. If they do, suggest that they discuss this in their meetings and send a summary to the President of the chapter.

You are not in this alone. If talking to your President and your mentor (Not sure what position your mentor has, if he is alumni or not) is not getting the job done, then you need to contact the next higher up person, possibly even get in contact with HQ.

I would be very surprised to find that you don't have an advisor, that would be my first approach, and then refuse the conference calls and forward/refer all texts/emails to your President and the advisor.

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.