I come here out of urgency and anonymonity. Recently, I've learned that one of my parents suspects the other of, for lack of a better word, molesting me. He suspects that a few months ago on a trip that something "happened" and that my mom has been acting too nice to me. This has left me extremely alarmed and troubled. My family hugely conservative and religious, and this has left me in an incredibly awkward and scary place between my parents. Currently, my dad is on a business trip, but what should I do to unequivocally make clear nothing happened when he does come back? How should I respond to texts or calls?

  • 2
    Does he believe that the act was consensual on your part? Does your mother (or anyone else) know of his suspicions? Jul 22, 2018 at 0:58
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    As horrific as this situation is, it's really a "what should I do?" question, which is out of scope here. This seriously needs the help of competent professionals, not well-intentioned strangers on the internet. If there's clergy or a teacher you can talk to, I'd suggest starting there. Jul 22, 2018 at 1:29

1 Answer 1


Truth is always the best course, however, if one parent is suspecting another of being unfaithful with their own child then there are alot more "truths" to this than just your perspective.

  • If there is a direct question towards you then answer truthfully.
  • If there is any sort of indirect communication to you and you feel uncomfortable ask if there is something bothering them that they wish to talk to you about...this may result in a direct question, if it does not then trust that it's not your business at this point and it's a marital parental issue that you are picking up on.
  • As a child you may feel the need to defend or take on issues within your parents relationship, but that is not your burden to bare. If you have concerns your concerns towards them being voiced is your voice in the matter which should alert them to the fact it's bothering you and they should create boundaries to protect you from the full weight of this.
  • You may want to research emotional molestation and physical molestation for accurate definitions of understanding so you can be completely sure of your stance.
  • If you have a trusted family friend who is an adult and knows your parents really well and you trust them you might confide in them.

    • Above all, if you need help even talking through things contact a helpline or a counselor. There are anonymous lines where you can talk to professionals and get assistance as well as most countries have some sort of privacy laws related to client/counselor relationships that would provide some safety.

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