I will be going on a business trip to the Chicago area, about 1 hour away from the city I think. My friend lives in the city and she has very kindly offered to host me for the weekend after and show me around. So I will stay at a hotel in the vicinity of where my work is for the week and then head to the city to stay with my friend on Friday and Saturday nights.
I am male and we've been close over the years. There is no possibility of romantic or sexual developments, but I do treat her with much more politeness and reverence than I would any male friend. She is sensitive and the kind of gal who appreciates being treated like a lady, and is into all "girly" things so we don't use profanity or anything like that.
So, of course I accepted her offer and she's been excited telling me about museums and restaurants we'll go to and I'm really excited about it too, and I can't wait to see her, but I have a significant problem.
I have seen photos of her apartment and it is very small (small one bedroom.) I expect that I will sleep on her sofa and she will be in her bedroom and that is fine. From what I can tell however, the bathroom is situated right next to the door which is right next to the kitchen and then within short distance to the living room and the couch.
I am worried because it is unavoidable that at some point I will need to go use her bathroom and when I do she will hear what I would describe as "spectacular fireworks of a gross nature", which I cannot suppress when I go. No fan or running water has a chance of concealing this noise. I can't reliably predict when I will have necessity so I can't really just wait until we're out.
So my question is: How do I communicate to my host the horrible awkwardness of what may turn out to be a relationship-altering trip to the bathroom?
PS: yes I know there's an episode of Seinfeld where this happens to George but he is able to just leave, I cannot.