This question already has an answer here:
First I would like to give a bit of context:
- My companion and I are 25 years old; we will probably get married in a few years
- I luckily have a comfortable situation, and have been working for 2 years
- My companion still has to study for 4 years (but she'll be working and will have an income)
- I get on well with my in-laws, and things are okay with my own family
- I am an only son
- My SO has a younger brother (16 years old) and an older brother (27 years old). Neither of them will "provide" (probably) grandchildren anytime soon. So this is a bit more pressure for my partner
- Everyone here is French (a bit of Mediterranean/Spanish culture on my side)
Recently, my parents-in-law suggested that now that my companion has almost finished her studies "She should be ready to have kids soon". On my side it's pretty much the same, I am expected to have kids since it is "how things should be", but there is a little less pressure. My companion is not sure whether she'd like to ever have kids, and we have been hearing that "We will change our minds" over and over again.
Currently, the only real idea I can express is that the prospect of ever having kids does not make me happy, and that I don't want people around to pressure me into doing something I'll probably not change my mind about.
Has anyone encountered this problem and managed to make it accept to family without too much conflict?
I also have heard other ideas against my wish coming from aunts/uncles:
- "People who don't want kids don't like themselves" -> That's not how I feel, do you know examples who might corroborate this idea?
- "You won't be satisfied by life if you don't have kids" -> I think my career, personal life and hobbies can largely be enough, am I wrong to think that? Is there a way to make our families feel the way we do about that?
A comment rightfully suggested that I should add what I already tried. So here it is:
- I had the conversation about having (or not having) kids with my part of the family and tried the "I just don't feel like having kids ever" argument
- It did not go well and escalated really quick, that's when I heard the arguments I am quoting in this question
My SO and I do not want to re-iterate my errors with her part of the family, that's why I am asking for advice here.