I live in a large city on the west coast of North America. There is a reputation for people here to be unfriendly. I'm trying to make new friends or even a new group of friends. The reason I am doing this is because
- I want to
- A lot of my old friends I had since high school haven't grown up or matured
- Two of my close friends were in a car accident which left them with permanent injuries. They are very self conscious about being in public and I'm looking for people that are into more activities (like going to the beach or on a hike).
Some people see it as impolite or unacceptable to go to an event where you don't already know most people there. One time I was living with roommates and the people in the basement invited us to a barbecue in the back yard. I told my roommate I had steak in the fridge and he said "oh, that would be better if you already have a reason instead of just showing up to hangout with them".
I know this is an open ended question but is there anything that should be kept in mind when hanging out with people where you only know one or none of them? Is there any way to communicate I'm just interested in meeting new people without coming across as needy or lonely?
I recently made friends with one person and asked what he was up to. He invited me to a bar with 5 other of his friends, none of which I knew. It was nice but I kind of felt like I was intruding as everyone else already knew each other. Perhaps when meeting new people it's best if there's an activity that's not just sitting and drinking?
In response to comments, I'm not looking for specific instructions on how to meet people or how to "forge a friendship". I'm more looking for a response to give in a situation when I'm new to a group and someone asks "if you don't know anyone why are you here?" when the actual reason is I'm trying to meet new people.