I'm a 24 year old girl and a few months ago a guy wrote to me by chat answering a question, I was happy because I "know" him a little in social media and he seems to me a interesting person. The problem was he gave me short answers like "haha" so I think I was bothering him so I stopped to chat him. A month later he contacted me again. We texted during a few days, he takes a long time to answer me (6 hours or 1 day) so...the same story happened, I stopped to talk and everything ok. This situation has been repeated MANY times but I feel very tired and uncomfortable because I love to communicate, send random photos, audios, have a good conversation and know things about the person but I can't with this boy and that makes me think I'm doing something wrong every time.


I have a lot of introverts friends and I never had a problem with them because I talk a lot, I ask a lot and I hear a lot too. They say to me I'm a easy going person (maybe that explains why I can't manage this rare situation for me)


I don't know how to act. He is a confirmed introvert, but I can't distinguish the thin line of introvert / disinterest. My desire to meet new people makes me want to talk but my insecurity makes me think that I'm bothering. The most important thing for me is not to overwhelmed anyone.

Question So...I should ask things, talk and continue the conversation or only give a short answers too?

  • 1
    This is a broad question and is at risk of being closed unless you get more specific with the interpersonal goal you want to achieve. Do you want to tell him something? Ask him something? Be specific in that, and IPS can help you. – ElizB Jul 29 '18 at 20:29
  • So this question doesn't get closed because of too broad or because of being an "what should I do" type of question, would it be ok for you to rephrase it to something like "how can I ask him if he is comfortable with me sending him messages"? – DarkPurpleShadow Jul 29 '18 at 20:33
  • @ElizB Unfortunately I don't want to ask him anything in particular, I've been reading this forum a lot and I know there are many people who can understand the behavior of the boy and give me guidance on how to interact with him – Waterloo K Jul 29 '18 at 20:42
  • 1
    Nevertheless, the question is rather broad, and might get closed unless you ask a more specific question, like @DarkPurpleShadow suggested. – ElizB Jul 29 '18 at 20:47
  • 1
    @ElizB I already asked him that, but I considered it politeness. Nobody says "no, don't send me any more messages". I will think of a specific question but I don't know which one :| – Waterloo K Jul 29 '18 at 20:54

My fiance is like this. She doesn't tend to do little texts or emails. It made me nervous and took me quite a while to figure out how to handle it. Turned out she is just very focused, and whatever she is working on or doing at the moment is what she's thinking about. She doesn't spend a lot of time with extraneous communication. Eventually I stopped stressing about it.

I don't know that this guy you are occasionally chatting with is the same but it's a possibility. If he seems happy to chat with you but just doesn't do it very often, you may just need to back off and relax about it.

| improve this answer | |

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.