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About a year ago I landed a great job in a field that I've been trying to get into. The problem is that most of my friends make much less than I do. Their jobs are near entry level and they don't make much more than minimum wage. Most of my friends also don't have much ambition to get careers and are satisfied with just "jobs". They of course want to make more, but are too ingrained in their current situations to work towards something better. I'm not looking down on them because they work hard. It's just they work hard for very little.

I like to think of myself as financially literate and good at managing my money, so a good portion goes into investing/saving. However, there is still a chunk that I'd like to use towards splurges such as vacation. Naturally it'd be nice to do these thing with friends. Sometimes I front the cost, but if I always did that it would become a burden financially.

I'm not sure how to reconcile the differences in lifestyle my friends and I are able to live. If I want to do something that would be expensive such as traveling abroad, how can I bring it up to my friends that aren't as well off as myself?

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Footing the bill for expensive vacations for your friends doesn't sound very sustainable - and it could lead to future issues with your friends, such as them feeling guilty about you paying, or them starting to take advantage of your wealth. Yelm's suggestion about planning expensive trips far in advance might also work.

Instead, I would recommend planning expensive vacations on your own or with friends that can afford it. I would suggest planning cheaper excursions with your friends that aren't as well off - such as day trips, or a vacation to somewhere within driving distance.

Also, don't forget to take into account what your friends want to do - they probably have good suggestions of fun things to do together that are within their budgets.

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    This is good advice. On a personal experience, I've been on vacation with three people that were working full time and one student. Everything we did (from visiting museums to eating at a restaurant) was a struggle, because a lot of things were too expensive for the student. This is not fun for anyone.
    – Caroline
    Aug 22, 2018 at 8:52
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Most of my friends also don't have much ambition to get careers and are satisfied with just "jobs". They of course want to make more, but are too ingrained in their current situations to work towards something better. I'm not looking down on them because they work hard. It's just they work hard for very little.

OK - Can we break this down - For one reason or another it appears that you are looking down on your friends. It also seems that you regard their lack of ambition and that they work hard for little as wrong (actually they are just not like you that is all).

It would be an important thing to examine deep down how you value your friends, and how they are important to you. If you look down on them because you have found wealth then they are going to find this out sooner or later, and you will be left with no real friends (friends who will be friends because of a genuine reason, not because of financial status). Friendship goes both ways, you have to participate and be in the moment with your friends, otherwise why have any.

So to reconcile your friends, you must clear your mind of how well off you are, and start by concentrating upon your friends at their level - engage with them in a modest way, do not offer to pay for expensive trips arranged by yourself - ask them what they want to do in your company. And be satisfied with that.

Try not to be overcome or obsessed with your success and let that influence your attitudes or the way that you categorise people.

After all, easy come- easy go. You might find yourself between a rock and a hard place one day - a time in which you may regret not having your friends any longer.

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Your friends probably need to plan big expanses well in advance, so you should do the same. Make plans together now to travel next summer.

Obviously, your friends need to be reliable and start putting some money aside now. If they have a tendency to spend all their money at the end of the month, they won't have enough to travel.

Find a compromize that suits all of you. If you insist on a 5 star hotel with all-inclusive service, that very idea might be out of proportion for your friends.

Make very concrete plans. How much will the flight and visa cost? How much for the hotel? Very important: don't forget additional costs for food, drinks, tours, rental car, entrance fees and tickets. It will become a very boring travel if you are forced to do only free of charge activities. Write your budget down so your friends have a reminder.

Make sure you have a valid passport! Some countries require that your passport be valid until 3 months after entering the country. This might cause additional costs.

If your friends are reluctant to make these concrete plans, carefully ask them why. They might realize that they can't afford this travel but are too embarrased to admit it to you.

Be prepared to lend some money. If you or your friends travel for the first time, your expenses will most likely be higher than expected. Communicate with your friends that you are prepared to lend them money and how much.

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