So, the story is a little complicated and I always have a little trouble expressing myself, I guess that's also one of the reasons why I'm asking for help.
First, I'm a Brazilian guy, about to turn 20 years old and I'm gay.
I started college about a year ago and there I met this guy. He's awesome, really sweet and smart and all of that. At first we became just friends, and that went on for about three months. Until that point I thought he was straight (He would even tell me about this girl he was with and he wanted something a little more serious with her) and we were becoming really good friends.
One day he asked if I wanted to go see a movie with him and by the end of the night we had kissed. That's when things started to get complicated. He was the first I had ever been with but I was not the first guy he had been. He told me he had wanted to be with me for a while and that day he finally had had the courage to do it. We "dated" for about two months and I developed feelings for him. After that when I found out he had been seeing another guy as well. As much as hurt as I felt, I kept it to myself since we had not agreed on being in a serious relationship anyway and I really cared about him and didn't want to ruin our friendship. I told him that I didn't want to be anything other than friends with him anymore and that I wished he'd find someone he would be happy with. My feelings for him didn't go away but I really wanted him to be happy and I couldn't imagine what it would be like to not having him as my friend, he had become a really important person for me.
After this we kinda started talking a little less and pretty much only saw each other at college. Until one day he told he missed me and wanted things between us to be the way it was before. I told him that I had developed strong feelings for him and I couldn't keep things the same as before if he would be with other people at the same time. He told me he would do whatever he needed to be with me so I gave him another chance. We have been like this for about 8 months now. That brings me to my question.
We have a quite romantic relationship and I know he has only been with me for the past 8 months but every time I try to talk to him about us, and about where our relationship is going he says that we have nothing serious and that he's not ready for that. My question is:
How do I tell him that I want to be in a serious relationship without hurting or scaring him?
A few things I know that maybe a factor for his fear of being in a relationship:
- A few years before I met him he had a girlfriend who cheated on him several times and was really abusive towards him (physically and emotionally)
- His family is very "conservative" and I know he's really scared of telling them hes bi
- He tried a relationship with another guy before me and this guy also cheated on him