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Today, I entered my new school (I'm in 9th grade) and, as you could guess, I had no friends, but there was some guys that were so good to explain me and stay with me. I really like staying with these 2 guys, they are actually three, but, the third one is so rude!

In my country, almost every person you know always talks to you with rudeness, even in a "good/normal" way, but in a bad way too. This guy is always talking to me with rudeness and making bad jokes, also, he throws me stuff even when I've only known him for like an hour.

"He's always like that, don't care that much", but, he's really annoying! I just don't follow his games because it can be worse; the other problem here is that I'm in a group where there are only 6 boys, including me. The 34 people left are girls! I also want to hang out with girls, but I'm not that good and I feel so uncomfortable, all people in this school have knowed each other because of their past years, but I'm new! (The only one)

closed as unclear what you're asking by Clay07g, zanahorias, TheRealLester, Flo, ElizB Aug 21 '18 at 19:29

Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    Hello, welcome to IPS! This question is off topic and a bit vague as it is. Can you add the country tag so we know where you're from for cultural aspects, if any. Additionally, the question needs to be narrowed down to a interpersonal goal, like approaching or communicating something. For example, this question could be "How do I tell this person to stop bullying me?" or "How do I tell the group I am sensitive to teasing?" – ElizB Aug 21 '18 at 2:16
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Venture out and make some friends, don't worry if they are girls, it is fine to make friends with girls too, girls tend to be more understanding and caring.

About the rude guy, well, ignore him. Most people bully because they see satisfaction in it or just want attention, if you do not give him attention, aka ignore him, he will not gain any satisfaction and not bother you. He himself, will feel lonely too. We all have feelings, and when we are left out or ignored, we don't feel as good, so, ignore him, ignore his existence, don't bother with him. He is part of the society so let him be, do not even bother to hate him, he do his thing, you do your thing.

I understand, he might be really annoying you, but if you show annoyance, you are satisfying his desire to bully and do it more.

There are 2 ways I would go about it, one way is as mentioned, ignore, or another way, is to assert dominance and raise my voice at him, what I used to do was "What is wrong with you? Grow the f*** up!" That might come out as being rude and honestly set a bad impression, so i really do not advise you do that. Especially when your still new.

For now, just ignore! It is what it is, such people are all over the society, best we can do to ourselves is not to feed into their desire to bully.

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    I kind of disagree with you. I was once bullied myself and ignoring the person didn't work. The only thing that did work was when I finaly burst into tears in front of an other person of the group and then explainned why. This person then make sure to ban the bully from your group of friends. So, do you have any personal experience to back-up the ignoring strategy? – Ælis Aug 21 '18 at 13:31
  • Yep I do, those 2 strategies i mentioned was what worked for me, i guess this really varies on the situation, on the type of person you are and the type of bully he/she is. Considering it is a school environment, he can consider turning to teachers too if that is of any help – and a dot Aug 22 '18 at 14:39
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I have no idea of how you can deal with the bullying in itself. However, I can give you advice about the overall situation.

Start making new friends. If the situation with this third guy doesn't improve, you will be glade to have other people to turn to.

You say that you are not good at making new friends, so find people that are shy/weird/not good in socializing, in brief: people like you (thats not a negative jugement, I'm one of these people). There are probably more likely to accept you in there group than the popular one. If you don't know how to recognize them, find the ones that avoid spotlight. Then, go toward them, introduce yourself and ask if you could join them (or use whatever technique you feel fits to make new friends).

If you still want to stay with your first group and want the bulling to stop, try saying calmly but firmly:

Can you stop this? It's very annoying.

However, I'm not really optimiste about the effect of that.

Edit:

After I read the answer of "and a dot", I came up with a third strategy that can be put in place if the second one fail:

Choose the person you like the most in this group. Find a way to talk to him privately. Explain to him that X is really annoying you. Then, ask him if he could interfere to make X stop. With any luck, this will fix the issue.

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