Me and my partner have an indoor cat. She stays in our apartment except when we are away travelling, then we take her to my partner's parents to look after her until we get back (this happens 2-3 times a year for about a week or less at a time). Both the parents are very fond of her and especially the mother (let's call her Amy) loves taking care of and playing with her. When she communicates by phone or when we are visiting, she always asks how the cat is first.
Our kitty is healthy (physically and mentally) and quite well trained (she rarely gets into trouble). When she's visiting Amy's house she gets spoiled of course, but I don't mind at all. What I do mind though is that Amy feels entitled to give advice about how to raise the kitty - e.g. that she needs to eat in the morning as well, have access to all rooms when we are at work. This advice gets repeated almost every time we speak and it often has an accusatory tone which I am not fond of.
What have I tried so far:
- Kindly explain why the kitty cannot have all that and how this doesn't make her less happy.
- Change the subject.
- Not answer/speak at all.
- Note that we have already discussed this and concluded it wasn't possible to follow the advice.
What was the impact of my above actions:
- Same advice given next time we meet, although I don't think Amy forgot the justification I've given previously. Anyway, I have repeated the justification quite a few times.
- "Did you hear me?" and further elaborating on what she believes must be done. And the same advice being given next time we meet.
- Acted offended for the rest of the visit. Same advice next time.
My partner - Amy's child - either ignores her or becomes a little rude (when tired). Ignoring her didn't work for me as I mentioned earlier and I really want to avoid being rude as I am too grateful to them for taking care of my cat.
NOTE: Amy has never had an indoor cat before.
Is there a way that I can avoid such unwanted advice from Amy (permanently if possible)?