Every time I call my friend he puts me on speaker. I don't know why but I know his girlfriend is controlling and is always in his life 24/7. How do I get a private conversation without sounding like I'm being sketchy?
Additional Info:
There are some broader issues to consider (described in other answers and comments), but a couple of ideas to address the specific question as asked:
1. Request to not be on speaker phone (and don't mention the girlfriend)
I've heard versions of this request before. Speakers and microphones vary in quality, and it's not unusual for the speakerphone to be less than ideal. Maybe it's hard for you to hear the other person with the microphone so far away from their mouth and ambient noises in between, or maybe there is an odd echo that you find irritating or distracting.
You can gesture towards an issue like this and ask (or at least express a strong preference) for not being put on the speaker when you talk. Not everyone will accommodate you, and not in every situation (I know my mom dislikes when I use the speakerphone, but if I'm cooking and she wants to talk right then that's her only option).
2. Invite your friend to events with no option to bring another person
If you buy two tickets to a show that you think will sell out, and then invite your friend once it has sold out, there's no opportunity for him to bring her along. There are plenty of situations where it is plausible that tickets could be hard to come by or available in only limited quantities for people to buy. This won't help if he refuses to attend events without her though, and it sounds as if that is a possibility.
3. A regular "friends' night" based around an activity the girlfriend does not like
This may or may not work out, but if you and your friend really like to do something that the girlfriend does not, you can try organizing get-togethers around that thing. The girlfriend may or may not tag along, but if she does sometimes she can observe for herself that:
As other people have noted, you can't make your friend engage with you in private. If he consistently chooses to accommodate his girlfriend's desire to monitor these aspects of his life you'll just have to choose between interacting with both or interacting with neither.
I´d try to catch a private moment with him. Maybe when you go out and she uses the restroom? And then simply be honest and ask:
Hey, sometimes I really miss having a private 1-on-1 conversation with you. Seems to me your girlfriend is really around any minute. What about that?
Then listen what he has to say. If he thinks this is nothing to worry about or is unwilling to change that, I´m afraid you´ll have to deal with it and maybe find somebody else for your 4-eye talks, at least for now. It´s not really your place to get between them.
If he signals this is a concern for him also, you can suggest the two of you should have private times. How he breaks that to his partner is really his problem - maybe the topic of another question here.
A general remark: As a friend you always have the option to take a step back and wait - and then be there to support him when his relationship finally breaks apart. I had lots of Friends the I kind of "lost" when they where in an intense relationship, but that came back afterwards.
You should also make room for the possibility that he likes it that way. In that case this can last a bit longer.
Anyway, there is nothing you can really do to push him, only lend him a hand if he decides this is not right for him.
Try telling him that you won't be calling him if his girlfriend demands that. Try to convince him that her attitude isn't healthy. If he tries to rebut or calls you sketchy, tell him it's not normal for every phone call to be shared. You could also try telling him that if he wants her to be in his life 24/7, that's fine but you don't want her in your life.
Is he desperate and willing to put up with anything for his relationship? Does he just not care?
What you can do, and what i've seen working almost every time:
Tell his Girlfriend you would like to talk to your friend in private. There is a high chance, she does not see herself as abusive, maybe a bit overprotecting, but in a good way ( probably based on bad experience ). Your point is to not appear as threat to her.
It is crucial to not blame her or even mention her being always involved
His relationship is not going to end well, you already guess that and he will probably realize that he does not want to live like this forever.
