I know there are a lot of "how to tell a guy I am not interested" posts but this is slightly different due to:
- I am interested
- I want to keep going to the cafe he works at
- I am in an open relationship
My boyfriend and I (we are both guys) decided to be in an open relationship last year because we both travel a lot. The rules dictate that other people can only satisfy physical needs, and emotional attachments are not allowed. None of us have acted on this, as far as I know.
I met a waiter getting brunch on Saturday and we exchanged numbers to meet Wednesday. When I told my boyfriend, he was upset because to him, meeting someone in real life (vs. an app) and exchanging numbers implied an emotional connection. To his credit, I didn't tell the waiter that I had a boyfriend and was only looking for a one night stand. It was spur of the moment and I thought I could explain the situation later.
Thinking about this, I have decided that it would probably be the best if I don't meet up with this guy. How can I tell him that I don't want to meet up but still stay cordial? He works in a cafe the same block as my apartment and I would want to keep going to his cafe. I can't be friends with him as he is very attractive and my boyfriend would probably not appreciate us being friends.
- We are in NYC
- My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years
- My boyfriend has cheated on me two years ago (we weren't open then)