I (m/21) had a friend (m/18), a very good one. I drove to him after work nearly every day and we saw us every weekend. But suddenly, he began to meet other dudes from his class. This is nothing bad, but he changed his personality drastically to get into this new circle of friends. Now ..

  • He lets me pay for things I didn't do. He is somehow able to make it look I was it and nobody can prove the opposite.

  • He doesn't like me anymore because of my girlfriend. He is the only one who doesn't like her for no reason.

  • He tells my sister that I am the problem why we don't understand each other.

  • At his new circle of friends, he can only get attention by drinking too much and buying expensive stuff (15k car and 2.5k computer at his age with no job). I don't know where he got this money from. I know that he had about 2-3k saved up until last summer. The last few months, he said he can't go out with us, because he has no money.

  • He waits to buy expensive stuff from the internet until one of us or his other friends are beside him, to let everybody know that he is buying expensive stuff.

  • He says I'm just envious and if I say, that I could have all that too, because I'm earning a lot, he is like "Prove it".

  • Every time I explain something to him, where everybody knows that I am right (because it's about the thing I do as work or something I know a lot about), he doesn't believe me. If I get proven after a few days, he forgot that I have said the right thing. Due to that, he made me looking unintelligent

These are some examples, why I don't want to do anything with him. I'm generally a worse human than he is in his oppinion. Another good friend of mine and him, also thinks that he became silly. But this other friend is accepting it, because he doesn't want to lose a good old friend. I don't want to lose a friend too. But he is showing me, that he doesn't want me in his life.

I can't just go to him and say, that he has changed drasticly. In this case, he would say, that I have changed. It wouldn't matter, if this other friend goes with me to talk to him. He would think, that I can't talk to him on my own.

I'm clueless about this. At the moment, my thoughts about breaking contact are bigger than fixing our friendship.

Maybe you have some tips for me how to talk to him about his change, I feel helpless with this and I don't really want to quit this friendship.

  • 3
    What goal are you trying to accomplish? We can only help you with what you decide to do, not decide for you what to do. – Erik Sep 17 '18 at 11:23
  • 2
    Given your description of the person and your relationship I don't think telling this person they're an "insufferable bigwig" (I'm not even sure that means what you think it does) is going to help the situation at all. If you do want to tell the person this you would, whilst talking to them, say "You're an insufferable bigwig" and you've succeeded in your goal. Given that you haven't done this perhaps you should instead let us know what you actually want? – Lio Elbammalf Sep 17 '18 at 12:13

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