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My siblings and I have a rocky relationship and I want to find out what the causes for the issues are. The last times I've asked them about this I've got responses like "Everything is fine" or "There are no issues" and they seem to avoid any discussion about this topic. What can I do to find out what the causes of the issues are?

  • Despite the length of your post, it's a bit difficult to tell what the problem is and what outcome you're hoping for. Could you please edit so that it's shorter and so that we can understand what the problem is? – empty Sep 20 '18 at 22:34
  • Hi Dionysius, welcome to IPS. Your question likely needs an overhaul because it is admittedly confusing and lengthy. I think your question boiled down into it's most simple form is "How do I find the causes of the issues between me and my siblings?", however your examples are admittedly (no offence) too convoluted for me to understand and thus I cannot offer any simplification for it. Ideal questions are kept relatively short, I find the best are only about 2 paragraphs (roughly 3-5 lines per paragraph). – SSight3 Sep 21 '18 at 13:26
  • @SSight3 That's exactly what I meant to ask - Thanks. I'll edit the question tomorrow - today I'm a bit limited on time. – Dionysius Sep 22 '18 at 15:15
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To improve this situation I invited my brothers to come over to my home where we could do a BBQ and talk a bit. I would like to address this topic in this occasion. Do you have an idea how I can talk to them about my view about this and ask them what's the cause of their current behaviour?

Ask for him to join you for a beer in private if others will attend and let him know how you feel. Give some examples of times that you have felt that your relationship has felt forced or strange, and then ask him if he feels the same way, and if he does, tell him that you would like to change that. That's pretty much it; be honest and open about how you feel. Either you two work out a plan to communicate better, or he directly or indirectly (by avoiding the subject) tells you how he feels and how he wants to proceed.

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