This year I suggested that we make the 19 hour drive to go see my family. Travel Saturday and Sunday, and then travel back the next weekend. My wife seems to be on board with it, however, she still wants to celebrate Christmas with her family which is four hours away, either the weekend before or after the big trip.
I am against this, because I believe it is excessive. We will be traveling to see her family twice in November and again in January. Ever since we have been married (8 years this past August), we have celebrated Christmas completely with her family, even when we lived far away (I was active duty). I have never complained, because I know it means a lot more to her than me. I began experiencing Christmas away from at least parts of my immediate family from about the age of 10. She has never.
Other than my older brother and my mom, I haven't seen my family since Thanksgiving 2014, and since being married, never actually on Christmas. I kind of think it is time. We also have three kids, ages: 1, 4, and 7. And they really don't know my side of the family, and have only known Christmas with her side. She initially said that the kids would be upset about not celebrating Christmas with the cousins that they know. I said they would probably be fine, and that she was the one that would have the hardest time with it, she conceded that was probably true.
I don't really like driving, so spending 3 weekends in a row in the car does not appeal to me. I don't think asking her to give up one Christmas with her family is asking that much, especially when considering how often we see them already compared to my family. She argues that my family never comes to visit, which is true, though not completely fair. Both our parents are about the same age (60ish) but mine are still looking after kids (adopted and my special needs younger brother), and my sister has a large family, so making a 19 hour cross country trip is a bit more involved than a four hour jaunt without kids. Also, the only one of her siblings that have visited us, only has 2 kids, so I don't think that argument holds as much weight as she thinks it does.
How do I talk to my wife about this so that we can find a solution which make everyone happy?