When my mom bakes a cake for us (whoever is at home but it's usually me, my little sister, my father and her), she uses eggs (which are not vegan), even if I will be there. How can I tell her that I find it hurtful to completely ignore the fact that I'm vegan, and thus can't eat the dessert?
I'm 23, I have been vegan for 2 years, I live in my parents' house (well, not the past 6 months but I'm moving in again). I often cook the meal or part of it.
My mom hates cooking (I hate it too). She also doesn't like that I'm vegan and would probably wish for me to "convert back".
For the meal, there isn't a "main dish", there is just vegetables and starchy cook separately from the meat to make the meal vegan for me.
If she cooks something that needs milk/butter, she uses vegan alternatives but, if she needs eggs, she won't use the vegan alternative.
What I have tried
When I see that she is about to prepare a (non-vegan) cake, I ask her, why not use some maize starch(or some compote, depending) instead but she always told me "that's not how I learned to cook" or some similar excuse.
Sometimes, she will also say: if you aren't happy, you can cook. But the problem is, I do cook sometimes (just not cake) and I don't want to always have to do the cooking just because I'm the only vegan at home. Even though I know what to use as an alternative and would be able to tell her.
I didn't tell her (yet) that I found her hurtful because I wanted to avoid this (probably) difficult conversation.
How can I communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks for everyone but me?
Notes and clarifications
My mother does cook vegan stuff sometimes but only if she only needs to switch cow milk with rice milk. If it involves eggs, she won't switch ingredients.
When there are multiple things to eat, I don't really mind not eating something but when there is only one dessert, I do mind. Especially since this happens on a regular base (~ once per week).
Please, don't tell me that I'm selfish. I just want to be able to enjoy a vegan cake the same way they enjoy the vegan meals that I make.
No, I can't go out and buy a vegan cake, they're not readily available where I live.
A lot of answers suggest to teach her to cook vegan. This might work, but it might also not work: last time I tried, she just let me do the waffles on my own. So, I would be grateful for other solutions that do not involve cooking.
If the dessert is vegan, everyone will happily eat it.
My mother usually cooks 2/4 of time, me 1/4 and my father 1/4. At least that's how I see things but everyone on the house probably has a different opinion on the matter.
The cake is usually for the four of us (well, three of them since I can't eat it). If it's for guests, I mind less not being able to eat it (because it's not really for me, because I usually know in advance and because I can prepare/buy myself something else if needed).
Some people seem to think that I'm vegan for health reason, I'm really, really not. And the last time I tried to eat a not vegan cake, I didn't enjoy it because I felt guilty.
I have asked my mother to tell me every time she wants to use eggs in a recipe (so that I can jump in and use something else instead).
I also printed and pinned on the fridge a summary table of what to use instead of eggs.
Finally, today, when my mother told me she wanted to make a pie using eggs, I jumped in and used Maizena instead (will she was cooking some other stuff). We didn't cook together but she mostly saw what I did and I hope that, if I do it often enough, she will start doing it by herself.
(but answers to help bring that issue with her are still very welcome if all this doesn't work)
Notes and clarification:
I would rather have the answer to "How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when..." but people keep giving me answers to "how to have her cook vegan" so I used their solution in the hope that I won't need to "communicate that I find it hurtful when..."