I have a colleague, with whom I need to spend the most of my time. I personally feel that this person is not mature enough and does loose talk with others.

I am a very silent person and not prefer to react to any rumours or negative comments about me. My colleague does a negative campaign about me. I came to know these from other friends. He mostly says to other people the following sentences: X is not serious about his work, people are saying that X wants to escape from his work, etc., X here refers to my name.

I usually never reacts anything after hearing these from my friends and I try to forget all these. I don't even like to react. But when the days are passing, the campaigning is happening at a higher rate if I am absent for some few days. Is it okay to ignore all these? If not, then how can I react to this silly propaganda?

  • 3
    Hi Hindu, unfortunately at this stack we can not tell you "how to handle" a situation. To allow answers to be more useful to yourself and others we require that you explain your goals here, have a think about what you want to communicate and to whom. (e.g. Do you want to insist the person stop? or to explain to your other colleagues that the rumours are not true?) – Jesse Oct 3 '18 at 12:37
  • Do you have reason to believe that other coworkers are taking these rumors seriously? – DaveG Oct 3 '18 at 12:52
  • As a side note, you can try to ask your question on "The Workplace", they might be able to help you there (in way that interpersonal skills won't solve) – Ael Oct 3 '18 at 13:54

A more Workplace-y answer but also usable as an IPS:

Wherever you go, you will always have a detractor. It may be someone that feels threatened by you. It may be someone who just doesn't like you for whatever reason. It may be someone who needs to expand their position and feels the need to do it at your expense. Or it may be someone who is just a jerk. Either way, you wind up with rumors and gossip to contend with. I've seen this in close to 40 years of working at almost every place I've worked.

At work, there is one person that you need to impress: your boss. The others are, although not irrelevant, secondary. Your boss is the one that can fire you and determines your career advancement. Co-workers come and go.

If this gossip concerns you, sit down with your boss. Explain what's going on and your concern. Get some honest performance feedback on how you are doing, and address that. Don't get defensive; merely explain that you've heard rumors and you don't want that to affect your relationship with your boss. Don't try to prove that wrong; that merely sends a red flag. And keep in contact with your boss. You don't need to be friends, but you do want your boss to see you as someone that they can depend on and to deliver consistent quality results.

Now, with respect to your friends (and not always at the workplace): don't get defensive here. My response is usually something like "[X] can flap their gums all they want. I let my results speak for themselves" and let it go at that. That noise may bother you, but you can't let it appear to do so. Merely stay confident, and deliver consistently. When people see that you get stuff done and done well (including non-work activities), your co-worker will make him/herself look small by spreading (known to be) false gossip. That shows you to be the grown-up in that interaction, and by playing the long game, you don't get down to that level.

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Stuff like "X is not serious" is a little foo fuzzy to me to take actions. First of all I recommend to ask your friends to not just listen to this but to scrutinize this person's statements right when they are made. Such like "what makes you think X is not serious, X wants to escape?".
This requires the person to come up with facts - or identifies lies.

This creates a fundament for you to take further actions. For example you have evidence to ask this person why they are lying about you, or to talk to your boss about false statements.
Or perhaps it reveals misunderstandings that you can clarify.

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