Alice and I are relatives but not on good terms. Recently, Alice was bereaved and I got to know about it through a third person. With the kind of rapport that I have with Alice, I am sure that I would have never been informed about it. Yet, I did pay a visit.
There is a mourning event happening in her household a few weeks later where all kith and kin would be invited and certain rituals are performed. I am sure that I will not be informed about this either. And, I would be blamed if I do not visit her. At the same time, Alice would also blame me stating that she had invited me yet I haven't visited. (This happened earlier with other kind of events too.) Yes, lies everywhere; can't help that aspect.
Me being part of the mourning is important. If I do not attend, my absence would he highlighted and I would be scorned by the elders of the family, which I do not want to happen. Getting an invitation is important because I do not want to be the uninvited guest.
I want to initiate a conversation with Alice and make herself inform me, if not invite me, mostly through telephone. I do not want to give her a chance to blame me for not visiting her at this crucial moment. Ultimately, I want her to invite me and I definitely want to visit her.
There are a few elderly people whom we both know and whom Alice is close to. I can take their help too. But, not sure how to go about it. How do you suggest I go about it?
P.S: This question wouldn't be valid if she invites me.