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My girlfriend and I, both 17 years old, have been together for about two months now. Character-wise, we both are what you'd probably call a little nerdy; we want to make career and so we try to be good in school. Still, we are both totally integrated and we have lots of friends.

A few days after she told me she loved me, we had our first kiss. It was just a regular one but, since it's our first relationship, we found it awkward to kiss when our friends were around, so the next time, we kissed after a date. I kissed her once and tried to continue but she pulled away, which was already kind of irritating to me. The next few times I tried to kiss her (no French kissing ;)), she avoided it and eventually, we talked about it. She had a pretty bad history with other guys, no relationships and nothing serious, but multiple guys treated her very poorly, sexually harassed her and tried to exploit the fact that she trusted them.

She told me that she could understand that I wanted to kiss her and hold her in my arms when watching a movie and stuff, but she also said that it was not good for her because every time I did, she would be afraid because of what had happened to her. I asked her if I could somehow help her with that, but she said she wanted to cope with this herself; obviously, I completely respect that she doesn't want to have too close physical contact, I am in love with her and I want her to be happy, but still, it kind of bothers me.

It may sound cheesy, but I would love to kiss her, watch romantic movies, cuddle and stuff. It's not about sex. For me, it's about her and that I love her, if you understand what I mean. I really want to do all that stuff with her but at the same time, I don't want her to feel awkward or afraid; I don't want to hurt her.

I'm sorry, this was a pretty long text, and due to my bad English, it propably sounds a little weird. My questions are: what do you think can I do to help her get over that? I am really helpless, it's my first real relationship and already I have to cope with a problem like that... Thank you all, in advance.

closed as primarily opinion-based by OldPadawan, Johanna, Ælis, ElizB, gparyani Oct 28 '18 at 21:15

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • Welcome to Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange! I'm sorry, but this question seems a little too opinionated for this site. While many good questions here generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, answers to "What should I do?"-type questions like this one will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. It would be great if you edit your question so it asks for help with something specific, rather than simply asking for opinions on what you should do. – gparyani Oct 28 '18 at 21:15
  • Hey, can you please rephrase this question to focus on what interpersonal skills you can apply rather than what you should do? – Benjamin Gruenbaum Oct 29 '18 at 9:41
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    I think this goes beyond interpersonal skills. Your GF has obviously been hurt by people in her past, and is dealing with this by avoiding intimacy. She needs a counsellor who can help her understand her feelings and decide how she wants to deal with them. – Paul Johnson Oct 29 '18 at 17:20

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