My partner and I hang out with another couple. We share many interests, have children of the same age, and are fairly compatible in many aspects. So all is fine for spending several hours together whenever we meet.
The problem is that our female friend's tone is always very loud (by anyone's standards). It affects us so much that we are actually meeting them less often than we would otherwise because of this. After about an hour, we are both getting tired and I even get headaches.
I am also concerned that the increased volume in her voice and somehow unawarely in everyone else's voice (it seems hard to keep a lower tone when she - and her partner, though to a lesser extent - speak(s) so loudly) is affecting our little child who is not otherwise exposed to this, since we are both fairly calm and quiet people and so are the other families we occasionally meet. We can sometimes notice that our child is more agitated and a lot more tired after meeting these friends.
I finally decided to try to do something about it last time we met, but without immediate results. This is what I tried:
- Tell her (twice) jokingly: "We can all hear well in this room, no reason to speak so loudly". Her reply was: "But this is my normal tone of voice" (which I already knew).
- Occasionally whisper, in particular when addressing my own child.
My question is: how can we go about it such that she is not offended and she stops being so loud?