For as long as I can remember having first experienced love I've had trouble finding a partner and building a strong relationship. More so, the only relationships I found, followed the pattern, that my partner was usually as desperate as I was to find a relationship, it was just a matter of days getting together and the relations rarely hold for longer than a few weeks.
Having been observing others I feel like what happens to me is different from what happens to others, as no matter how weird someone is in their looks or personality they at some point just get into a relationship, no matter if actively looking for it or not. Even those not actively looking to get into a relationship usually have more success in finding someone feeling attracted to them than I had while still desperately trying to find someone to get a relationship with.
For years I've been trying to figure out what the reason for this might be, and made it often a topic to talk about with my therapist. We came up with a lot of reasons that might be the source but due to trial and error behavior I figured out, most of them didn't have any impact on the outcome.
Talking about it with friends they usually tell me "Don't get so desperate finding the right one takes some time." And while I agree on that one, that's not my point. As to be clear about it, in my whole life, thinking back into the 5th/6th grade, I never got a love letter from anyone, despite everyone(!) else receiving them a few times. I never had a "date" with someone in my late teen age. It was always from the very beginning pointed out if I had an appointment with an girl I liked "This is just friendship, don't consider it a date." And even the recent years, people just keep pointing out if a relation to someone gets more intense, that I shouldn't expect anything but friendship from it.
The fact that I have autism makes it difficult for me to conceal that I feel attracted to someone, probably making my attraction to them visible very early. And the way I experience attraction is from what I know way more intense for an autist than for an allist.
So I started wondering if this might be (as slowly I am running out of ideas what else might be the reason for this) the reason that I fail to make (almost?) everyone unable to feel romantic attraction towards me?
To be clear, this is just a yes/no question supported by some kind of evidence.
I removed the europe again, since commentator agreed with me: This is something I encountered cross countries and the observations I made were similar independent of the culture.