I moved to a metropolitan area for work so I didn't and still kinda don't know many people. I have a few friends now but am not trying to lose anyone so I've considered just breaking off all communication, but that idea is on hold. I met this one girl though a dating/social app. She is shy, a bit depressed, and is hard for me to read. I like her despite a lot of shortcomings but I can't tell if she even cares and she doesn't know what I think as she doesn't really ask anything.
Our interactions are via text mainly and more like:
- she says something, I say something, that's it
- I say something, that's it
- someone says something and there's a little back and forth but that's it.
We hung out in person once and I think the next 7 times I asked to hang, she had an excuse like, too tired, busy, don't feel like it. So I thought she doesn't care to be friends, on top of the really poor communications quality, ignored messages, apathetic responses, etc. or something but she texts me at least 5/7 days a week.
I'm not a confrontational person and don't want to put too much pressure on her but I wanna ask about if she actually wants to be friends and actually hang out more.
- Started talking around March 2017
- Hung out once around May/June 2017, have not since
- She is in a terrible life spot. 26 yo, lives with parents, cant find a job, college dropout that ended up graduating at an online school (BA graphic design), no self control, does not save money, plays video games and binges shows all day
- (from what she has said) bad social skills, depression and anxiety, apathy, laziness, does not like small talk and finds it easier to talk to people digitally
- Important to note that we met on OKCupid which she has updated her profile and reiterated she wants to meet people and do things in real life. We talk almost every day and I said I'm willing to drive the 40 min to hang out every so often as she HATES driving
- She has hardly any in real life friends, if any
- I'm not sure if she talks to me because she has no one else or if she actually cares to talk to me. The confusing part is how she never actually converses and suddenly changes topics or just drops communications
I do really like her for god only knows why, maybe because we are kinda similar and have similar interests (but I don't have depression and I have a degree and successful career, etc.). So although I considered and started just ignoring her forever, I care too much to do that. But I don't want to be her personal one-way Twitter (since people typically tweet something and never read or respond to comments). Of course if she doesn't want to be friends or actually meet, I must just say goodbye because it's a waste of time.
However, I'm looking for good approaches to ask if she wants to be friends. If feel if I were to just say that, she might just not respond or change topics.