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I have been playing badminton doubles in a club for 2 years. I always play a good game and give a tough time to the players who were playing against me. In total we are 15 players in the club. We all are good players.

Now my neighbor has started coming to the club. I am 19 years old and he is 27 years old. He is a beginner and always willing to be my partner in games. He doesn't play a good game, I lose games due to him and disqualified for the next game. Many times I've asked him to improve his game, but he doesn't give much effort.

How do I ask him in a polite way to first work on improving his game and play with other beginners?

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    Hi and welcome to IPS :) Have you noticed, does he try pairing up with other more advanced players too, or just with you? I'm wondering if maybe he overestimates his skills, or maybe it's because you're a familiar face - did you know each other before he joined the club? – Em C Dec 3 '18 at 22:40
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    he always want to make pair with me and we know each other before he joined the club – user10592224 Dec 4 '18 at 2:06
  • Could you provide some examples of how you asked your neighbor to improve his game? I'm specifically looking for what you've already tried and what result it produced. – Upper_Case Dec 4 '18 at 17:05
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In any group I'm in, I try to note a couple of things. First of all is people's reason for being in the group. It sounds like, for you, competition is an important part of the group and you want to win to play the next game.

For him, it could be one of two things. It could be a desire to improve his game, hence his siding with more advanced players to learn from them. Or it could be social, hence his picking you to play alongside of - if you're one of few people he knows there.

Once I understand the motivation of the individual involved, then I can work on that. If it's social then I can introduce him/her around to others with a similar goal. If it's to improve his game, then I'd have to make 2 decisions: am I willing to teach this individual and lose some games, or do I take the risk of messing up a friendship and pairing him off with someone else?

WRT your question of pairing him off: I'd want to find what he wants and meet that need. You're meeting a need of his somehow, and just telling him "improve your game" without saying how or cutting him out socially will not be seen as a friendly move.

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I would try to say something like

Do you mind if I join these guys for a more competitive game?

In this way you're not mentioning his skill level directly or indicating that you don't enjoy playing with him but instead asking to excuse yourself to join someone else for a game. This puts your neighbor in a position where he will feel good, like he is doing you a favor by granting your request.

I expect though you may need to compromise a little at least at first if he has no other badminton partners. While you can excuse yourself for some competitive games I would check between games if he has found a new partner to play with, this would also be a fine time to address issues you mentioned with him not improving where you may be able to reference things that you did in your competitive game you would like him to learn.

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