How can I ask for money return from friends without sounding selfish? [duplicate]

Question

My 2 close friends borrowed a handsome amount from me without mentioning any deadline and that time I've had enough so I gave the amount, it's been 5 months when I gave the amount but now I need my money back but they both don't talk about the borrowed amount.

I am feeling very uncomfortable to initiate this talk from my side but now I need my amount back.

Note: I don't want to sound like selfish that I want my money back without taking care of their financial conditions.

How should I go for this? Should I indirectly make them know that I need my money back? Or I should directly ask them to return? Or any other way?

Answer 1

There's no shame in asking for your money back especially when you've been the good friend and lent them money.

You should be direct but also friendly. People are more likely respond positively if asked nicely. However make sure both parties leave this conversation with the same understanding of when the money should be paid back.

Hey, remember that X dollars/euros/... you borrowed 5 months ago? I'd really appreciate it if you could pay me back.

If they tell you they can't pay you back because they don't have any money then ask them them if you could set up a payment plan.

Well could we set up a payment plan? X [currency] per month? Whatever amount you can afford is fine.

By this point if they're good enough friends or respectful enough they would've accepted some sort of a deal to pay you back.

If they refuse, well then they're clearly not your friends and I'd consider the money lost.

To avoid sounding selfish make sure you listen to the possible problems they might have and be understanding and lenient about their own difficulties.