4

Background

I love candy crush and candy crush like games. I love grouping things by color and I'm very good at it. I play it in my free time, especially when I need to relax my mind.

I know such games are targeted to a broader audience but it doesn't mean that they can't be harder in there very own way (trust me, they can!).

What happened

Today, during my lunch break, one of my coworkers saw that I was playing a candy crush like game and told me in an almost neutral but still a bit condescending voice:

You are playing candy crush.

Since I was taken by surprise, I just responded "this isn't candy crush", he corrected himself ("You are playing a candy crush like") but the only answer I could come up with was "this isn't candy crush".

Note: I have had this remark made to me several times in the past and always by people considering themselves as "true players" and who would look down at games for a larger public.

The problem

I don't want to defend my game by implying that candy crush players are, indeed, not worthy of respect, but I am because I'm not playing candy crush.

The question

For the next time, how can I make such a person think about what they are saying and what they are implying when saying it? And how can I make them know that I absolutely disagree with what is implied (that game for casual gamer have less value)?

The perfect outcome would have them agree with me but just making them think about it would be a good start.

Notes and clarifications

  • This coworker never talks to me otherwise (and he isn't shy). And I'm pretty sure he wasn't just trying to "make the conversation".

  • I'm also asking for cases where the condescending aspect is clearer (in case you still think that the coworker wasn't condescending)

  • For people wondering why I care, I just don't want them to think that people who play those kinds of games are "inferior", that's all.

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    Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. – Em C Dec 13 '18 at 20:47
11

People will always have their own judgments about various things, the easiest way I have found to deal with the vast majority is to give a very non-committal response to which they can't argue.

Them: you are playing [insert game]
you: *shrug* hey, I enjoy it

Boom, just like that they can't argue what you like and without having fed them any details as to what you enjoy about it they likely have nothing else to add after their first statement. If you don't want to bother starting a debate with them and trying to convince them of the value of your game preference this is a very fast and efficient method to have them move on.

9

You say that you want to "make such a person think about what they are saying and what they are implying when saying it." But then you also say "This coworker never talks to me otherwise."

Now imagine that there's someone at work who you never talk to, and the first time you go over and comment on something they're doing, they give you an earful about how you've insulted them and the way you've phrased things is insinuating all of these things you never even thought of. You'd probably avoid that coworker as someone you don't really want to talk to.

If I were in your situation, I'd stick with my personal policy on matters with relative strangers: always assume the best intentions.

I don't think you have anything to gain by giving him a lecture or trying to get him to change the way he sees your game. After all, he's a virtual stranger to you and you to him. Instead, depending on the amount of condescension in his voice and your patience at the moment, I'd respond to either try to engage him in a conversation or just brush him off.

From more conversational to more brushing off, these would look like:

Him: You're playing a Candy Crush-like game.
You: Yeah! Do you play any phone games?

 

Him: You're playing a Candy Crush-like game.
You: Yeah, I find it helps me relax and get my mind off work.

 

Him: You're playing a Candy Crush-like game.
You: Yup!

 

Him: You're playing a Candy Crush-like game.
You: Yeah, so?
Credit to @Federico

 

Him: You're playing a Candy Crush-like game.
You: How astute of you to notice.

Or a bonus V for Vendetta reference (credit to @HansJanssen):

Him: You're playing a Candy Crush-like game.
You: Your powers of observation continue to serve you well.

4

As someone who plays a LOT of mobile games, some like what you describe (match-3 style stuff, which is what Candy Crush is), and others not (I'm not kidding when I say I play a lot of mobile games) - I know how icky that sort of judgement can feel, because people tend to see that sort of game as "easy" or "not a real video game" or the like.

That said, I'm not sure there is really much you can say here to convince them. Beyond telling them the name of the game, and that you like playing it and are enjoying spending the time on it. Maybe something like:

This isn't Candy Crush, it's . I really like it, it's a nice way for me to pass the time. It might not be your cup of tea, but that's okay, I am sure there are things you find fun that I wouldn't enjoy the same way. Please don't try to take away from my enjoyment of the game, just because it's not something you'd choose for yourself.

And then...leave it. Don't try to push the point - if they're the kind of person who persists after that, then they're not really someone you want to be talking to much anyhow, if they can't let someone else just enjoy a thing.

If you really want to try to convince them, you could offer to show them what you're playing, let them try it, or give them a couple ideas of what you like about it (perhaps where the challenge lies, like how the levels get harder and they introduce new mechanics to make it harder, maybe explain your favourite mechanic in the game that makes it fun and challenging for you), but chances are, they're likely to still be dismissive, if they've already decided they are "above" this sort of gaming.

It's unfortunate, but realizing that you can't always change someone's opinion of a thing with a simple statement is sometimes important. Just remember that it's okay to like what you like, and ask yourself what you would gain if you used the time to convince them what you like is valuable, instead of using the time to beat that tricky level that's been eluding you.

If it is less about making them understand the value of the game, and more about you not wanting them to be so condescending, though, I'd not bother with much more than what I said above.

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    I think this involves too much effort on OP's part, when the person in question doesn't deserve an explanation. Just say you enjoy the game and leave it at that. You don't owe the person an explanation of anything. – only_pro Dec 13 '18 at 19:02
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    @only_pro They don't owe them that, no - but it seems like they want to try to make that effort. So I was offering some tactics in that vein. – Ash Dec 13 '18 at 19:03

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