I'm a US citizen and I began dating a girl from an online website. We've known each other for a month and have been officially dating for about two weeks.
She told me on the second date that she wants something long term because in her culture most people are married by now (she's 27). Then she said that if I didn't think I'd be ready for marriage in the time frame of 1-3 years, we should reconsider continuing the relationship. Obviously this caught me off guard because I barely knew this girl, but I agreed to continue dating her because I could see myself marrying her eventually if the dating continued to go as well as they were going.
We didn't kiss until about the 5th date and didn't have sex until about the 8th. I didn't want to have intercourse with her initially because I was scared of getting her pregnant. We only had a condom and she wasn't on birth control. After I told her why I didn't want to do that she threatened to leave my apartment, but I eventually calmed her down. In the back of my mind I was thinking "what if she sabotaged my condom", but we continued anyway and I thoroughly checked for anything that looked like a hole in the condom. No hole was found.
Now she is at the very beginning of a 60 day grace period where she needs to find a job, which will allow her to work in the US for one year. After that she plans to go back to school for another two years. As soon as I heard about the grace period I began putting a document together to track jobs and her applications. I stayed up late at night trying to look for jobs for her. However, yesterday she called me and was pissed. She told me that "if you love me, you would marry me.", but I was shocked because it's only been a month! On the phone she started saying that she'll just go back to her home country and that I'm a good person so I'll find a better girl. I hung up on her after she said I'd be fine and I replied "I won't be ok". Looking back I know this kinda sounds like I was contemplating suicide, but I wasn't. After that phone call she drove to me, which is an hour away. She apologized and said it's just been stressful at work. Last night she slept at my house.
My question is, how can I ask her if she is just using me for a green card? Even if she gets a job and is here for another 1-3 years, she'll still need the marriage to get the green card. Sometimes she is very sweet and loving, but other times she hurts me emotionally. I don't want to waste years of my life on a relationship that is fake.