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I was recently invited to my friend's house for lunch on a Sunday. We spent the afternoon together as well. I wonder if in western culture it is necessary to call up the next day and say something like:

I had so much fun yesterday. I wanted to thank you again for having me over

closed as primarily opinion-based by Ælis, Hans Janssen, avazula, Alina Cretu, sphennings Dec 27 '18 at 15:15

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    Hey there! Welcome on IPS. Unfortunately, your question is likely to get closed, as "what should I do" questions are off topic on this stack. I invite you to edit your question to make it on topic, and should you need further help understanding what is on-topic on this site, please check out our tour or ask us so we can help you. Have a great time among us! – avazula Dec 27 '18 at 11:10
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    This seems like a pretty archetypical etiquette question to me, which should be on topic in general. It would help to include more information about who the friend is and their background / relationship with you. Also, how formal was the lunch, like how were you invited, was this the first time? – Em C Dec 28 '18 at 3:30
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I would say it's not necessary to thank someone in western culture (I am from Sydney Australia). However your host would most likely appreciate a thank you, so I think it would be good to do so.

In regards to how you should do this, I think in general, the formality and method of saying thanks should match your relationship with the person, the formality of the event and the formality of the invite. Basically depending how the invite was communicated to you, a host would generally be comfortable with a similar mode of communication in reply. Here are a few examples:

  • The host called you: Then you could call them back and thank them.
  • Email/IM (Facebook, WeChat, Whatsapp etc): A message via the same medium, or an alternative version of these.
  • Face to Face: If you see them regularly then thank them that way. If not, consider an alternative method to ensure you can do it soon after the party. Instant messaging may be a good way of achieving this as it is a non-commital (ie doesn't require extended conversation) method of communication.
  • Mutual Friends: You said it was a friend but thought I'd be thorough. Ask your mutual friend to pass on your thanks.

A further consideration you may want to make when considering the nature of your reply: Consider matching the formality of your reply to the formality of the occasion that you attended. If the event was casual/informal, then your reply could be quite casual, something along the lines of:

  • "Hi X how's it going. That was a lovely lunch we had on the weekend. The food/company was great"

If it was something more formal then perhaps a longer more formal (an email etc).

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