In the group of our old friends there are around 30 people. We were all born around the late ‘70s to mid ‘80s. I’m actually 38 and my wife is 33. Some of us are still single, some are now couples starting to build family with 1 to 2 children.
Me and my wife we had our first son 15 months ago and she’s now pregnant again. We are just crazy for him, and he is also somehow objectively beautiful, and we never made anything to hide our enthusiasm for such a blessing. In the group there are two brothers, they both are married and they don’t have children. Around 6 months ago I had a private speech with one of the two brothers, and he told me he and his wife have been trying for years to have a child too, but it seems they can’t. He also told me that his brother’s wife was pregnant around two years ago and she lost the baby. They’ll unlikely be able to have a child too. He also told me they both (couples) don’t feel comfortable at all about that missing piece in their life. I felt and showed him all the empathy I could, and I said “sorry if I said something in the past that might have hurt you or your wife”.
Hearing all that simply destroyed me. I went back to all the times when my wife and I just so naturally spoke with them about how beautiful parenting is, how beautiful our (all friend’s children in general) children are, how beautiful he is when he wakes me up in the morning even if I’m tired, etc. I’m sure I told them both publicly more than once “you should think about it, it’s the best thing you can do in your life”.
Afterward, I always felt very uncomfortable about all that and I was somehow trying to “limit my happiness in front of them”, sounds bad, I know.
Tomorrow we all (~30+ people) are gonna meet each other for 5 days vacation in a house we’ve rented all together for New Year.
I already told some of my closest friends that my wife is pregnant.
If there wasn’t such situation, I would cook dinner and buy wine for everybody the first evening and tell them the news during a toast.
But I don’t want to be heartless with the two brothers and their wives, they are my friends and I feel (probably unable to show ‘em, though) very empathetic for them both. I don’t want to hurt them, nor ruin their New Year, so, in such scenario:
How to tell my friends that my wife is pregnant again?