A bit of backstory:
I am a guy in my twenties and living in quite a family-centric culture. My own family is not necessarily very traditional, however there is still some influence from outside.
My father always had a drinking problem. I was quite severe several years ago with constant fights with my mother and sometimes even with me (I was about 10 at the time). The situation has become more stable in the recent years since he managed to find a decent job, however the root problem of his drinking (which I presume to have something to do with his psychological situation, but its hard for me to judge) has not disappeared.
A couple of months ago he got extremely drunk and was acting quite horribly harassing my mother and being extremely loud. It was very late at night (about 5 o'clock) and the fighting awakened me. I got out of bed and asked my father to calm down, only angering him more. Understanding that nothing I could do would be effective I decided to return to my room.
However my father only became angrier to the point of almost taking down my door. I jumped out of my bed and confronted him, which was probably a stupid idea, but I couldn't bear it. I came through the door and said something in the lines of "what the hell are you doing?" and got quickly hit in the face. The blow wasn't too hard (still left a bruise) but I got extremely angry and hit him two times with some force. He calmed down and went to catch some air.
He returned and said he didn't understand why would I want to hit him or why would anyone have something against him. I understand that this went through his mind due to him being extremely drunk but I do believe that this is what he grew to actually believe (that he is actually innocent and I just wanted to fight him). He accused me of being outright evil and a horrible son etc.
After some talking, crying and calming down I thought that hitting him wasn't the brightest idea and when we all cooled down I apologized and so did he, both with teary eyes etc. It looked like everything ended well. We didn't really talk much in the following days but gradually returned to the status quo and everything went well.
Sorry for the wall of text, I don't know if all the details were actually necessary but I thought the context may be important.
Fast forward to couple of days ago:
He again got very drunk it being New Year and all. I tried to avoid him but eventually had to sit down at the table with him, and sure enough in an hour or so he brought up the fight. He said something in the lines of "a man should not hit his father" but in a bit more extreme fashion, and accused me of not regretting hitting him.
He also tried to manipulate with my emotions in other ways (which he does when drunk) but I don't remember what he said. He also rambled on and said that he knows some people (as I understood he meant some "prestigious" or "important" people) and did not want them to think of his family as a family where a son and the father fight.
It was surprising for me that he brought that up, since it really had nothing to do with the problem at hand and I don't understand why would he even think about it. But I do hypothesize that this may have something to do with some of his insecurities (knowing prestigious people being a status symbol). I don't know if he truly believes what he says. Anyways the fact that he said it has had a huge impact on me. I'm becoming more depressed and I'm losing any will to talk to him. I haven't talked to him after this incident and it's been 4 or 5 days.
I know that this can't go on, and I will have to sit down with him in the near future but I don't know what to say. I do think that he actually believes at least some of what he says, and that he most certainly doesn't want to admit to himself his own, at least partial guilt in whatever happened. Situations like this happened before and he always comes up with a way to seem innocent at least to himself.
I do believe that he has psychological problems but when my mother told him that visiting a professional might help him, he said that he is afraid of it. He said "visiting a psychologist would ruin whatever he has built in his mind" or something like that.
I think that just talking to him would be fruitless and I do think that he has to first admit having a problem and then agree to work on it. But I think that if I mention this to him he will become defensive and aggressive, which he often does.
So, how do I talk to him about this so that he won't become defensive and will instead (hopefully) agree to work on the problem?