How to make a friend I secretly love feel special on Valentine’s Day

Question

I’m thinking about mailing flowers and perhaps some tasty snacks— anonymously of course.

This friend is often uncomfortable with romantic situations, particularly ones where reciprocity is of question. So I hope to do something to just make her feel loved and happy for a moment without inducing a goulish nightmare.

Another note is that I live in another city and have a busy schedule, so making any kind of personal appearence is not a possibility.

Update:

They live alone.

As for decoration, I’d say mostly casual with the exception that the flowers would clearly signify the Valentine’s Day-ness of it.

Final Update:

I asked them what they would recommend as a gift to a very special someone on valentine's day, then sent them that gift. They were "actually very surprised".

Answer 1

I would deeply caution against any large anonymous gestures. There are too many ways it can backfire. Especially if this girl has discomfort around romantic gestures to begin with. You may end up convincing her she has a stalker, or even if not that extreme, it will likely make her uncomfortable, which is not what you are going for.

Instead, I suggest showing her that she is appreciated. A small gesture, from you, that shows that you care about her. As you want to avoid a largely romantic scenario, keep it simple. You probably don't want to confess your love either. Buy her a cup of coffee. Or a book you know she'd like. Spend an afternoon doing an activity you know she likes but doesn't do very often.

There are many ways you can be kind to her without it being romantic. And this will make her feel appreciated, which is what you wanted.

Also, can I just say, if someone doesn't like romantic overtures, they probably won't like them if they don't know who they came from.

Answer 2

I think you are getting sound advice here. If this person is fond of you, which you hope she is, then there is no better move than to send her something thoughtful to let her know you feel that way. If she likes movies you could send her a ticket. If she likes music you could send her a playlist. Mostly, what I have found woman respond to is a gesture that shows that you are listening or paying attention. Even a Skype date to watch a show may be perfect for the right person. In any case, I think your life, and hers will only improve with open and honest communications.

It is the little things that count especially when they are the right things a friend can count on. I know of no tale where a secret admirer prevails.