My friend (f) is trying to start another long distance relationship with a second person in our extended group of friends (I am neither of these people). The first relationship (w/ Person 1) had been going on for a month when the new one seems to have started and still seems to be going well. The new one (w/ Person 2) she is trying to develop is with one of that person's IRL friends who knows about the first relationship. I sense that most of the people involved will get hurt when this eventually comes out, and I would like to avoid that. The issue comes in that I am not sure how to approach her about this, since this is a personal topic. I am worried that being too direct about this could be seen as being rude or judgemental and damage our friendship, but I see a problem brewing here and would like to try to intervene before things go south.
Some Notes and Background
- This group of people is a mix of a few sets of IRL friends and a few other people
- The IRL friend in question and I both live in the US while Persons 1 and 2 live in Australia. I don't see there being much of a cultural issue here.
- We are all older high school students, but not exactly social butterflies.
- She seems conflicted over the whole thing, but still seems to be pursuing both relationships
- I haven't tried/done anything yet and the approaches I have thought of seem likely to offend her, but I could be wrong and a direct statement may be the best idea. I am not sure how I would do that from a cold open though.
- I have a few other IRL friends in this group, but it is only those two in their IRL group
- We mainly interact through a Discord server that I own, with the information on my friend's relationships coming from a locked channel that only me, my IRL friend in question, one of my very good IRL friends, and another internet friend having access to. Neither Person 1 or 2 have access or will ever likely gain access.
- The best outcome for me would be to keep all of these people as friends, but my IRL friend is my highest priority, with Person 1 being second since I have personally known him for longer. Any response that would negatively impact my relationship with my very good IRL friend would be a no-go, but I could possibly get him on board with a solution to this.
- I am not seeking a relationship with my IRL friend, I just want this situation to be resolved well.
- I am very worried that if I simply say that I think this is a bad idea, she would be upset with me. This assumption could be incorrect though, I am not sure
How do I tell this friend that this may not be a particularly good idea in such a way that I am able to get my point across without damaging our friendship? No action may be the best option, but I would like your input.