We've been together for a few months and only use condoms for protection. Recently there have been a few isolated signs of her being pregnant. I think I'm most likely just paranoid and that the pregnancy "signs" are just coincidences. However, they've scared me enough to want to talk with her about using a back up birth control method like the pill or arm implant. I brought this up when we first started dating (before our "first time") and she said she's open to female birth control, but only if she's in a long term relationship with someone.

Now I think she will be fine with getting the birth control, but at the same time I want to tell her that we should hold off on having sex until we get some. She gets mad easily and I don't think she will be happy about this considering we've done it nearly every day for months.

My question is how can I express that this is a good decision while attempting to minimize her anger since she has a hot temper.

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    Did she get mad the first time? What's preventing you from bringing up the conversation again in the same way you did it before, now that you apparently feel the relationship has become more long-term? – Tinkeringbell Feb 19 at 20:26
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    Any idea why she is resistant to also using birth control? Seems like you are being quite responsible in making absolutely sure there isn't going to be any unwanted pregnancy. – DaveG Feb 19 at 20:33
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    You said that you think she will be fine with getting birth control, but you think she'll get mad about you suggesting not having sex until you get some. Is it right to say that you're more interesting in having the second conversation (about holding off on sex)? If so, you might want to edit your question to make that a bit more clear – Rainbacon Feb 19 at 20:38
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    How old are you both, in what culture and has she ever been on birth control before that you know of? – AsheraH Feb 20 at 7:18

Let's take a quick look at your situation as I understand it:

  1. You previously discussed usage of female contraceptives without angry responses.
  2. You're worried that you might get your girlfriend pregnant.
  3. You think that abstinence from sex will irritate your girlfriend.

Alright, so you're worried that you might get your girlfriend pregnant and that while waiting for her contraceptives to come in, she'll conjure up a huge attitude of anger because she can't have sex.

For any normal/healthy relationship, I really don't expect this to happen. If she understands and sympathizes with your additional worries/fears she'll be willing to wait a bit.

If she does for some reason decide to respond with anger and forms a temper simply because she can't have sex with you for a few days, this is going to raise a red flag. Why? Because she’d be ignoring your own personal wishes and concerns and that brings the possibility for a controlling and just overall bad relationship. She should be attentive to your worries and not simply throw a fit because she has to wait a relatively small amount of time.

From what you've told us, it looks like she's generally fine with female contraceptives. Just ask her about it like you did before and mention that it'll make you feel better about things if you waited a few days.

Personally, given the well known and documented success rate of condoms when used properly, I think that your reasoning is somewhat fallible and you should consider the idea that just using them until she gets her contraceptives will be okay. :)

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