Me and my ex had a long term relationship for 2 1/2 years. We were very close, and after we recently broke up we are still good friends.
She has been diagnosed with severe depression, and was even self-harming herself once. I did my best to make her see reason, and I don't believe she would do this again. I am the only person to know about this but that will change if she does it again.
She is bisexual and I am heterosexual. I am male. Note that she knows I have no issue with her sexual orientation. She has had one girlfriend since we broke up, but it didn't last long.
The problem is this: I really feel for her as she is clearly unhappy, and I do want to help her, but I feel myself almost being pulled down whenever we get into the subject of her state of mind. I want to stay in contact with her, and still be friends. I do not want to tell her how I am feeling about this 'relationship' (we are out of a relationship after all), but still want to be able to support her and do my best to help her without being too cheesy...
I think I am the only person she talks to about this.
She has seen doctor(s) and psychologist(s) and is now on medication. I don't know who and how many she has seen, just that recently she has had bad news about her condition (Severe depression).
How can I support her and make her feel loved (in a friendly way) without being in a relationship? She does not like herself (sometimes even hates herself) and believes that no-one else does. I cannot confirm this. She has virtually no confidence, and is indecisive to the point that I have to make most of the decisions.
What I seek is to make her feel loved, and to help her love herself. To persuade her that she is appreciated and that whatever she or others may think, she is a lovely person.
I have to do all this from a non-romantic perspective.
Notes and clarifications
- We saw each other rarely when we were together. Meeting up was a challenge, but not impossible as we live within 20 miles of each other. It's highly unlikely we will ever meet again.