Since our son was born (almost a year ago) my wife isn't the same anymore - she is often angry at me and keeps blaming me for all kind of stuff. This has to stop - I can't take it any more.

During this last year I informed myself a lot and tried different approaces to improve the overall mood. I believe I fully realized the increased burden we got with the birth of our child and adapted to the new condition:

  • I'm fully engaged in the chores (we also have a cleaning lady comming once a week)
  • I'm fully engaged in taking care of our child (and we also got a help from the grandparents)
  • I keep in mind that we are still a couple and organize dinners out, field trips, etc.
  • I try to be loving, caring and supportive as much as possible.

However it never seems to be enough. As soon as I address a complaint in a best possible way, the bar gets raised and all the things I do is not enough anymore - I really don't understand this. Of course, I tried to talk about it with my wife several times but she doesn't seems to be receptive - I feel she's not putting a lot of effort in trying to find a compromise and even the smallest things (eg. something is out of its usual place) becomes a tragedy.

For over a year now I didn't have an afternoon/evening on my own. As soon as I finish the work I go home - because the help is needed, necessary and demanded. I can deal with that, all I want is a happy wife and a bit of daily free time. Our intimacy became less frequent than before but IMHO the quality and engagement is still high on both parts.

Sometimes she's still that wonderful person I chose to marry but sometimes (too often) she bursts for no apparent reason (using anything as an excuse to do it). I realise that 'the hormones' could contribute to this behaviour but gosh, It's been almost a year since she gave birth to our child, I'd tend to exclude the post-partum syndrome. The only other thing that crosses my mind is a couple therapy. Any suggestions?

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    You mention that you want daily free time. Does your wife get daily free time? Perhaps you should organise daily time off for both of you and see if that helps. – Johanna Mar 1 '19 at 12:02
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    I would love to help you but this is currently not a question focusing on a clear communicating goal. It seeks for suggestions which can very easily drift to opinion based. Maybe you could put an end-goal you want to communicate or work out with your wife on your question? – Nico Mar 1 '19 at 12:34
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    Is there a chance that your wife is suffering from depression? Identifying an underlying cause could help you address the situation. – IMightBeAmelia Mar 1 '19 at 22:58
  • How much time does she spends without a child and you with some of her friends? I know from own experience that locked in between 4 walls drives most people crazy quite fast. – Selenor Mar 4 '19 at 17:55