I've been with my long-distance girlfriend for 8 months now, we are both in our mid-20s.
Last weekend we had a disagreement in an online game session: Once she went online I asked her to play a specific game and she responded that she doesn't want to play this game now. Ten minutes later she silently muted herself in VoIP (online voice service) and started the same game with friends of her.
I joined the VoIP of her friends, which we used to play together once, and confronted her in front of all her friends and told her that I don't have a problem her playing with others, but she should be honest and not silently disappear. She told me to leave the VoIP instantly and I did.
Since then she only blames me in messages for stalking and trying to control which people she plays with. Next day I tried to apologize for confronting her in front of all her friends and tried to express how it makes me feel unsafe when she does things behind my back. But her only response was more blame and that she won't interact with me anymore.
When I try to talk about problems I never make an accusation against her like "you did ..." but express how I feel. However she closes up nearly every time and ignores the conversation until I change topics.
She often tells me that I'm the man she would like to spend her life with, but I can hardly imagine what happens if we run into a real problem.
My goal: I would like to get in touch with her again and have an healthy relationship.
How can I tell her that we both did wrong and should not get mad about such a small problem without her closing up again?