I live in a 2bed 2ba with my roommate. I cook more often than my roommate - once every day vs once a week. My roommate keeps eating my food (although not much) but never reciprocates. When he does cook it's only for himself.
We buy our own groceries - I never take what he buys but he grabs an egg or an avocado or something like that almost every day.
I'd love if we just did everything together and split bills, but that does not resolve the reciprocation issue. How do I best bring up this subject? Please provide some examples of how to initiate the conversation and examples of how to handle the conversation if the other person seems offended.
What I have tried
So far I've explicitly once said:
In my previous roommate experience in grad school we've split everything and shopped together. I'd prefer if we do that as well.
That did not have any effect.
Notes and clarifications
- We are both 28 year old guys with full-time jobs and have had prior roommate experiences.
I do want and intend to confront this topic again, but I'd like to figure out a good way to go about it since my past "subtle" attempts did not work (leaving me with a sense of being taken advantage of).
When I confront I'd like to not look very angry which is how I feel when I think of this issue.
I'm really only afraid of the potential awkwardness of calling someone out on their wrong (in my perspective).
Good Outcome(s) Wished for
- Agreement on a plan on working out a schedule where both roommates shop together and split the bills.
- Agreement on a plan to not share or share with equal reciprocation.
Possible bad Outcome(s)
I feel if the situation is not brought up correctly
Cold-shoulder roommate experience for the rest of 10 months of the unbreakable lease
Constant rehash of the same issue even after any agreement