Everything was going wonders, we were together for 3 years and one day she was acting strange, she was not sending me cute and kinky texts anymore and she removed all my pictures from her instagram, then she called me to tell me that she needs a ''pause''.

This was so sudden and unexpected, it completely destroyed me and I broke in tears while talking at the phone, It was the first time my best friend, my childhood friend saw me cry.

By investigating further without telling her, I realize that the day before acting strange, one of my friends confessed to her. What a coincidence, the only problem is I did not know who confessed to her...

3 days after she left me, I knew they were going to the beach with a group of friends, Later I arrived too and found Michele my ''training bro'' we used to workout together all the time and he was hugging and kissing her, and all my other friends acting like nothing happened, like I didn't ever exist.

They didn't notice that I saw them kissing so when I came they acted like nothing, I sat silently in front of her and she didn't say anything, I watched Michele in the eyes and he looked down. I wanted to fist his face into a bloody mess, but then everyone would have looked at me like a monster. It was obvious that no one cared about me, I had to avoid making the situation worse.

Then I talked to her, and she told a lot of lies, How do I know she was lying? Because nothing she said matched with what her friends told me in different occasions or what her parents told me. Now she doesn't want to talk with me or have any contact with me for at least 1 month.

How do I attract her, so she leaves that other guy to get back to me?

My parents, and some of my friends always used to tell me ''Never give a girl too much love, she will feel too empowered and by consequence she will look at you like a weak guy and leave you for someone that appears stronger'' That was my exact same mistake, I loved her too much, I dedicated too much of my soul to please her.

Forgetting her is not an option.

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    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's about forcing people into something they don't want ("bring them back to love me again". Really?!), it's also very broad, and opinion based. – OldPadawan Mar 11 at 8:39
  • @OldPadawan I'm not sure I agree with the "forcing". "How do I attract someone again" is different to "bring them back to love me again". I agree it is very broad though. – Philbo Mar 11 at 8:42
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    Hi Alex, welcome to IPS. I'm sorry you have to go through these tough moments. Unfortunately, we can't help you to force someone to come back to you, this is off-topic. What we could help you with is how to ask her to explain you what happened. If that's something you could be interested in, let us know, we'll help you transform that question accordingly. – avazula Mar 11 at 8:42
  • @Philbo : manipulation? She doesn't love them anymore, and still, they want to "attract" (trap?) her again? Manipulation is a sneaky way to force people into acting the way you want, and not the way they want for themselves. IMO. – OldPadawan Mar 11 at 8:44
  • @OldPadawan I'm not going to offer an assessment of this particular situation, but I will mention that the line between persuasion and manipulation isn't always an especially clear one. It's not obvious to me that force is the right word to describe the OP's aims, especially given their desire to "re-attract" their ex-- even though the force interpretation may indeed be appropriate, it's a maximally uncharitable reading of the question. – Upper_Case-Stop Harming Monica Mar 11 at 14:11

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do.

  • There is no way to magically attract someone to the point where they irresistibly come to you.

Especially since it was her choice to end your relationship. You can't affect that too much at this point and, in my humble opinion, you shouldn't. If you have to force someone to be with you, then it would mean their feelings aren't genuine in the first place.

  • A relationship is about mutual love and compromise.

She seems to have little love towards you and apparently no desire to compromise. Such a relationship is unhealthy in the long term and it is better for both of you to move on.

  • Moving on is your best course of action.

Obsessing over her and your past together will only produce unhealthy feelings and thoughts and will make you come off as clingy. Especially since she seems to have moved on already as well.

Look at the positives from this situation, value the experience you've gained and look for someone that can appreciate you and is willing to compromise for you as much as you for them. Someone that will share the dedication that you provide.

I wish you the best of luck.

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    Hi Chooba, welcome to IPS. While you make some good points, and offer a frame challenge (the only one?), this OP being off-topic, and not fitting this stack, it's better not to encourage such behaviours / questions by answering them as is and wait for them to be edited ;) – OldPadawan Mar 11 at 9:23

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