Recently, I decided to learn more about Love languages.
According to this website, here is a list of the various way people can show appreciation for someone:
- Physical touch
- Gift giving
- Words of affirmation
- Act of service
- Quality time
I then asked myself what "love language" the people in my family talk. For some of them it was quite easy to figure out but for others (like my big sister), I'm still struggling.
How can I determine what love language someone speaks?
My aim here is to be able to offer more "valuable" gifts to my loved ones which means I would (ideally) like to know what "love gesture" they will care the most about. However, knowing that "they don't really care about love gesture X but they care about Y" would still be valuable information.
Also, I'm more interested in solutions that don't involve "directly asking" but rely more on observation. An ideal solution would be for me to just "go through my memories" and find the answer I'm looking for.
What I have thought about doing (and why it won't work)
Just ask them "what is your love language." But since (as far as I know) my family doesn't even know what a "love language" is, they won't be able to answer this question.
I also thought about asking them with concrete examples like:
Would you rather I give you this fluffy unicorn or spend time with you in this aqua-park?
But the risk here is that the "fluffy unicorn" was a terrible idea to begin with and just changing the examples would draw completely different answers and conclusions.
Also (as you may have noticed) none of these solutions rely on observations.
More about my big sister
(please note that if you have a solution that would work for every person, that would be highly appreciated)
My mother always complained that I "never do anything with [her]" so it was easy to figure that she values quality time a lot. My little sister is a big hugger so, I figure she might be on the "Physical touch" side.
However, my big sister tends to keep her emotions and feelings inside her which makes it harder for me to determine her "love language".
Notes and clarifications
I don't really have a time frame here (even if having the response now would be much appreciated). And if the answer involves seeing the person face to face, it would still be a valid answer.
My family probably won't agree to take a quiz about love languages (even if some of them might accept, a lot of them won't). They won't care enough, think it's silly/stupid/not science and not worth there time. Also, some of them don't really speak English and I can't find a quiz in French.