I've been living at my apartment for a year now. Ever since we moved here, we've been having problems with our upstairs neighbor.

We've tried lots of things to accommodate her; for instance, when she complained that our doors and cabinets were loud, we had someone sandpaper the doors so they don't stick, and put Velcro on our cabinets so they won't make noise unless you slam them as hard as you can.

The issue is, she's gotten very aggressive with us over very small, and in most cases nonexistent, noises. We live here, though, so naturally there will be some noises, but we definitely try to be quiet. She yells and screams cuss words at us, mainly me for some reason. She bangs on our door and will just be loud in general. She'll bang on her walls super loudly to annoy us. We are constantly hearing her talk loudly and stomp and let her grandkids run around like crazy, to the point where I think their floor will cave out because they are stomping so hard. (I wouldn't mind the noise if it wasn't happening mainly at night when I need to sleep for work.)

It's been where it's lasted all night with her and her sons talking loudly and letting the kids run around till like 3 AM. She's gotten her son to yell at us and threaten to fight us. We've called the police recently, and they told us they can't do anything, and building a case against her for my realtors is going to take a long time to do.

At this point, I'm exhausted and tired of this, but we can't move and frankly don't want to because this apartment is perfect for us. We've tried talking to her, but she talks over us or won't listen. I honestly dont know if there's anything more I can do about this. I feel like at this point, she does it on purpose, she wants us to move. She's had problems with other people who live in the complex and the previous tenants of our apartment.

How can I deal with this the best way, when talking to her will not help?

  • Hi Bluejay! I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Right now, I'm going to put your question on hold, as Interpersonal Skills are behaviors you use when interacting with other people, to achieve a goal. Right now, it isn't really clear who you're planning to interact with (your last sentence seems like you don't want to pursue any further interaction with your neighbor), what behavior you've already tried (there's almost no details on how you tried to talk to your neighbor already), and also it's unclear what your goal exactly is (besides 'Make it stop!'). – Tinkeringbell Apr 13 '19 at 8:30
  • We can't really 'make it stop'. Think of who you're planning on interacting with, what you've already tried or think won't work when interacting with that person, and what you want to achieve with that interaction, is it e.g. dealing with being talked over when interacting with your neighbor? Asking her for a particular measure/thing she should not be doing anymore? – Tinkeringbell Apr 13 '19 at 8:34
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    The police can't do anything? I bet if you call them at night and they arrive when trouble is still going on, they can and must do something very well. Which country is this? – puck Apr 14 '19 at 7:59
  • Can you put a country tag? In some there are laws that could help you (tenants) and will give you leverage with the realtor during talks. – SZCZERZO KŁY Apr 15 '19 at 7:40

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