I am an 18-year-old German, I live in a small (~100 citizens) town neighboring a somewhat bigger (~2000 citizens) town. We have our own small local fire-station but we do not do regular training. To get my first firefighting certification me and a group of friends from my station took a course at the neighboring town's station. That station is way bigger, it has more/better equipment, regular training courses, and way more emergencies.
A male (~25), let's call him Leon, lead the course. I have known him before but I did not have much to do with him before this course. Leon is a very skilled and passionate firefighter and I very much admire him and the station he belongs to. I had the impression that Leon liked me and I also liked him. Strictly speaking though, our relationship is centered around the fire-station as we do not have much contact outside of that.
So after I successfully completed my certification I asked him if I could join in when they do training exercises. I asked him personally and he agreed to message me the next date when they would be training. About one and a half weeks went by without a message, so I took matters into my own hand and asked him again via WhatsApp.
He answered the next day saying he did not forget about me and gave me the date.
The next week a member of my neighboring town who was also a part of the fire station and a friend of Leon went missing. They searched for him for two days and when they found him, he had committed suicide. This person was just an acquaintance to me, but I was still sad/shocked about it.
Leon messaged me that day (which was also the day, the training was supposed to be) saying that the training would be canceled. I messaged him back saying (roughly translated) "That's a shame:( But I thought that would happen."
I am socially awkward and that in hindsight was some extremely poor wording, I messaged him a week later again asking him when the next training would be. To which he did has not responded for the last 2 days, but he read my message.
I'm now afraid Leon ignores me or is mad at me because I reacted rudely by not showing that I regret (don't know if that is the correct English word) the death of his friend, and asking him a week later about a new appointment. I am afraid of him thinking that I am selfish as in I only care about the trainings / It doesnt matter to me that a member of the station died. Which isn't true. He is a "different" person than I am emotionally speaking.
I don't even know if he is mad at me or if he just forgot to respond. But I am too afraid to ask at this point.
How can I express that I am sorry for what happened and clear up any believes that he may have built up while politely ask him for an invite to the next training?