My appearance before college wasn't very appealing, so I am used to not talking to people and very little socializing. I would get social anxiety if I am alone and when in my neighbourhood would pretend to be on the phone till I get in my house.

When meeting a new person, the initial moments are fine for me as I have all general talks I can do with him/her, I will talk for little time and find some good excuse everytime, but for the very same person the second meet will be very hard for me and I would most probably try to pretend I didn't see the person walking by or be on the phone or pretend I am in a hurry and walk fast - just drop a hi and get in the house (for example new neighbors).

The fact I used my neighbors example is my family is living for 20 years and we have seen a fair share of new neighbors and I have had same experience with everyone. So what happens in the end is that any future meets get awkward, even they pretend to be busy.

The only thing changed after my college is my appearance, with a lot of natural changes I am very much appealing right now so wherever I go, I am approached with a lot of people and within the next 5 or 10 minutes they realise how boring of a person I am.

So I had enough of it, I am 27 now, I wanted to change so I knew best would be to go and have awkward conversations and get better. Its been 3 months something, getting harder than ever so I thought of getting help.

Would really like if there are any self help books in making conversations better which anyone has found it helpful personally, or any personal tips to overcome my fear from this and have better conversations than having social anxiety.

The only times I am better in this is when I am having a very bad day and in my head I am in thoughts like "hell with the world, if I don't please you, I don't care" attitude. Now this is great but works when I get angry but doesn't last long as this attitude is not boring and as soon as I start having good time, away from anger, I start getting nervous and anxious.

Please direct any way which you may feel helpful as it is a very sad life and I want to break free from it.

closed as unclear what you're asking by Ælis, sphennings, avazula, Em C May 8 at 18:31

Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 1
    Hey Jatin, welcome to IPS! I can sympathize with a lot of what you describe since I've dealt with social anxiety too, it can be really tough. Unfortunately this is pretty broad for our site - it's best to focus on a specific type of interaction per question, if you can. For instance maybe focus on a conversation that you wanted to keep going, and ask about how you could have done that, or how to introduce yourself to a new neighbor, etc? We also have a Interpersonal Skills Chat and sandbox if you'd like extra help brainstorming :) – Em C May 8 at 18:31
  • That makes sense, I was thinking of posting it out here for quite a few days, just had to do it today without thinking too much about it. Ill try to post more specific next time. Than you for your time and suggestion. – Jatin May 8 at 21:49
  • No worries! You can still edit this post instead of making a new one, which will put it in a queue so that users can vote to reopen it and/or give more feedback. – Em C May 9 at 0:21
  • Oh Okay, that will do as well. Thank you. – Jatin May 9 at 4:49