My team at work uses online chat extensively, since we're spread out over a few locations. There are also some people in the chatroom who aren't directly on our team but work on closely related projects, and who I've never met in person.
Recently someone in the latter group (not my team, haven't met) posted a complaint in chat about a feature I implemented. I replied to ask for more details about why he disliked it. A couple other coworkers jumped in the thread as well to say they liked the feature, and we came up with a couple ideas about how to address the OP's complaints.
The thread seemed to reach a decent resolution, so I was a bit surprised when several people - including my manager - mentioned that conversation (in person) to me during the week. It sounded like they might be worried I was upset, and I wasn't really sure how to respond. I admit I was annoyed by the way OP started the conversation, but I wasn't really personally hurt - and anyways, it's not like I wanted to complain publicly at work about him (especially didn't want to sound like I was dismissing his valid feedback!).
Since several people now have brought this up, I'm wondering if I sounded upset in my chat messages. I often worry about striking the right tone at work and online, especially when I don't know the other person IRL, and it would be helpful to know if that happened here. So, I'd like to ask for feedback from the people who mentioned this.
How can I ask for an honest critique of how I handled the chat conversation, without making them feel uncomfortable or pressured?
Why not "just ask"?
I'm not very good at giving direct feedback myself, especially negative - I hate being put on the spot, and I worry a lot about offending the other person. I also have social anxiety, which makes it hard to judge whether my feelings about this are likely to be shared by others. Also, I expect I'll have to bring up the subject myself, which I'm not sure how to do now that a few days have passed. Overall, I'm interested in advice on what setting to bring this up, how to broach the subject, and what to avoid / do during the conversation (since I don't want to ask nicely just this once and then throw away future chances by handling their response poorly).