I've discovered that when I have a conversation with someone, I sometimes answer in a somehow offensive way.
Person: I just read that actor is born in town X.
Me: So what? You're from town Y.
I'm not answering in an annoyed tone more like a joking tone, but I can see, that the other person would still consider me rude. I'd like to know how to answer sentences like these, when I actually don't know how to reply and the question "So what?" or "Why would you ask/say that?" just pops up in my head.
I'm not sure if this problem is actually this simple, because I basically only have arguments over this when it happens with my partner. We have an intercultural relationship, which was long-distance for a long time. Now I'm in his country and don't have any of my own friends, which is why his approval of me has become a lot more important. When a situation as described above occurs, he would stop talking or only reply in a resigned way.
It took me a long time to find out, that it's my kind of response that puts him off and I can also see that it probably would put other people off. But when asking him, how would be a better way to reply (better meaning keeping the conversation positive or at least neutral and moving), he would reply "That's just how you are and I have to deal with it." I did state that I would prefer to not offend him/get on his wrong side, because I am kind of emotionally dependent on him at the moment and it makes me feel really bad/anxious.
So it comes down to two questions:
How do I answer in a non-offensive way (to not put him off in the first place)?
How can I resolve the situation after offending him, so I can feel safe again?