Last month I was caught carrying some cheat sheets during an engineering semester examination, not because I was afraid of failing but because I was afraid of forgetting a few key formulae and definitions. In hindsight, it was really really stupid idea on my part and I certainly believe that I should face the standard punishment. The incident has been reported and I'm almost sure that all the six examination papers I appeared in the semester will be cancelled; I will have to retake the exams next year again but that isn't the biggest of my worries as I think I will be able to pass them all if I keep revising in upcoming months.
What I'm truly concerned about is that I let down my professors who considered me to be a fairly good student who used to more or less actively participate in the classes, and I expect them to be very disappointed in me. When I ponder on this, I myself feel so ashamed of myself that I've had several severe anxiety attacks and nightmares (almost every day) since that incident occurred; I'm currently on medication for anxiety and depression (not complaining; I totally brought this upon myself and I deserve the consequences). Anyway, it's still summer vacation for us and I will likely be called by the department's disciplinary council for a hearing in the next month, and then soon after the classes for the next semester will begin, most of which will be conducted by the same professors we had previously. I do not think anything I say at this point will improve their impression of me, and really I do not want to sound like a manipulative person. Moreover, I believe actions speak louder than words.
Nevertheless, what would be a good way to conduct myself during the disciplinary meeting and subsequently in the next semesters' classes so that I can convey to them (over time) that I'm truly remorseful for my actions? (Please note that I'm not asking "what should I say during the disciplinary meeting so that the consequences are minimized?" but rather "how I can regain a normal working relationship with my professors over time?".) I do not think I have the courage to participate as actively in the classes as before, ask questions, or even look at them but is that something I should attempt at doing to restart a normal student life? I know that my relationship with my professors will likely never be like before again, but at this point, it would be helpful to know if someone went through a similar situation and how they handled it in the long term.
P.S: If this question would be a better fit on Academia SE or I can improve it in this way to make it better fit the scope of this site then do please let me know.