I'm in an online support group for people with anxiety, depression and these kinds of things (I already talked about it in this question).
The other day, someone with anorexia (her words) posted a picture of herself, explaining how she feels ugly and fat.
I wanted to tell her something that would improve her view of her body and, in the long run, might help her get out of anorexia.
What I didn't know was what kind of compliment could have that effect and which ones I should absolutely avoid because they could have had the opposite effect.
I finally decided to compliment her on her hair cut and glasses. Both things she can choose and has control over (and changing one of those wouldn't have any negative impact on her health).
She responded positively to these compliments (she engaged in a nice conversation with me). However, I'm still wondering about the long-time benefits of the compliments I gave her.
So, I guess my question is:
On what can I compliment someone with anorexia in order to improve their body image (and self-esteem) in the long run?
(I'm open to frame-challenges that would also improve this person's self-love without relying on complimenting).
A little more about this support group:
People in the support group are here to improve each other's self-confidence, self-love, etc... so complimenting others and sending virtual hugs to them is definitively part of what we do.
When someone is feeling low, we remind them that they have value and that they deserve to be alive, happy, and loved.