Way back a few months ago I suggested to my friend that we should room together next year. I started looking at housing before the College school year ended, but I never found anything. Now it's been about 3 months since I suggested, and he approved, of trying to room together. He hasn't put any effort into looking towards housing. I on the other hand found something for myself, and I need to tell him that he needs to find housing for himself next year. This however, I see is a breach of trust, even though he didn't put any effort into looking for a house, I still feel somewhat obligated to help him find something. This goes doubly so when you consider that the College semester starting up in about one and a half months now.

How do I tell my roommate that we aren't rooming together next year, even though I suggested the idea? Preferably in the politest way possible.

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    – Em C
    Jul 8, 2019 at 16:25

1 Answer 1


Tell him as soon as possible and straight forward, mate.

You are over-complicating the issue.

"I suggested" and "he approved" to "trying to room together" doesn't sound as though this was a sort of blood transaction until death do us part.

Then, there's "He hasn't put any effort into looking" - which clearly indicates that the both of you have scarcely communicated about this much, if at all.

That is, if he was ever interested in living together at all. Don't be too surprised to find out that he has already found accommodation for himself without you knowing about it.

Being socially inept and after experiencing this sort of thing many times, I've learnt that I've been attaching far too much meaning to something that was, for the other person, somewhat meaningless in the passing. Thinking back on it, many of them were simply too polite to tell me they're not interested in whatever I've suggested.

This is only a "breach of trust" from your perspective. You're possibly an honest, sensitive and upstanding sort of person who'd experience this as a breach of trust when someone did this to you - although you wouldn't have dreamt to act in the way he did/does.


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