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I'm 28 years old and he is 21.

He breaks my sentence and drop a call.
So he is calling me when he is busy or won't talk seriously.

I want to talk with him on phone only if he is serious about conversation.

Also I feel I can't change his behaviour.
So how to deal with this kind of bothering?

  • 1
    Hi there, and welcome to IPS. As it stands, your question sounds like a rant, but it's rather unclear and very broad: what is your goal? What do you want to achieve? Do you still want to talk to him? Do you want to communicate with him that his behavior is rude/bothers you? How old both of you guys are? Can you please clarify? And edit your question? We can help with an IP skill, but with a clear goal in mind. Please help us understand what you need to communicate, thanks ;) – OldPadawan Jul 12 '19 at 16:00
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    It's still not quite right. Take the site tour and take a look at this page: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/help/on-topic. In your case, this site is not meant for asking people what to do but rather how to do it. You need to decide what you are going to do, and we will help you figure out how to do it. – Reubens4Dinner Jul 12 '19 at 16:29
  • So, what do you mean by "won't talk seriously"? What kind of subject are you wanting to discuss? Is it a specific topic or just his general behavior? – Juliana Karasawa Souza Jul 12 '19 at 16:53
  • Yes general behaviour that he is been doing each time. He don't care if I'm telling what he want to know. He just break sentence and tell that he have to go. Or hold call on and talk with other person around. – Swapnil Jul 12 '19 at 16:56
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So, based on general comments, I think you can give him some prompts that you want his attention while you two are talking before you start with whatever conversation you might have.

Example: "Do you have the time to talk? You seem to be really busy."

If the conversation is going to be something particularly complex or something that he needs to remember, you can also ask if he has pen and paper or something to take notes.

I had a coworker that would call me to ask questions when he was bound to get interrupted during the call or in a hurry, like 5 minutes before a meeting, and didn't realize it, so I started prompting him to call his attention to the fact that he might get interrupted or it was not a good time for HIM to call. I did both the asking for the time and the pen and paper and it worked.

You can also reverse roles and say upfront that YOU don't really have the time and if he puts you on hold you break the call. When he calls you back (which he probably will), you'll just tell that since you didn't know how long the side conversation would take, you went your merry way and waited for him to call when he would be undisturbed. - This one is a bit passive-agressive, but it can work. It sends the message that your time is just as valuable as his is.

I tried this option on different co-worker that was immune to the prompting and was quite sensitive to candor, so I couldn't openly say "would you cut it out, if you call me and don't want to hear what I have to say, just don't call" or something along the lines, so I used the "passive-agressive" approach (not really my style) of dropping the call and waiting for them to call back and saying "yeah, I really didn't have the time to wait until you were available, so I just went to do my stuff and waited for you to call back when it was a better time for you". It worked too.

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  • Yes reversing role may or not realise him what he's been doing. Rather I would block him even for this reason I had blocked him year ago but he was complaining a lot so I unblocked him. So I've blocked him now too. – Swapnil Jul 12 '19 at 17:31

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