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I recently posted on a facebook page to find a partner to practice my favorite sport. Nothing romantic, I already have a boyfriend, I just want to practice my sport. Some guy (random stranger) agreed and we went practice the sport. He asked me if my boyfriend practiced the sport, I told him no, that he doesn't like it as much as me, which is why I was looking for someone.

So he knows I have a boyfriend. Then he started becoming awkward, asking me to go out etc... I declined and I think he understood but I still don't really want to continue to practice my sport with him.

But now I can't post on the facebook page (the only page for this sport in my city) because he will see it and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

How to tell my sports partner that I don't want to practice with him anymore without hurting his feelings?

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    Have you tried talking directly with this guy to say "hey, I'm just looking for a practice partner"? If he backed off, would you keep practicing with him, or do you really want to find a different partner?
    – DaveG
    Jul 22, 2019 at 12:25
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    Hi Annie! Welcome to IPS. Since "what should I do" is a very broad question and not a great fit for IPS, I allowed myself to edit your post based on what I understood it is that you're actually trying to achieve. Feel free to rollback or edit if I got you wrong, and don't hesitate to reach us if you need further help. Have a great time among us!
    – avazula
    Jul 22, 2019 at 12:27
  • Is he a total stranger from facebook group (i.e. "some guy") or is he connected to your group of friends? Do you have any other ways to look for partners outside of this particular Facebook page? Your approach would depend on this context.
    – Crosscounter
    Jul 22, 2019 at 13:21

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You can't guarantee that you won't hurt his feelings.

A lot of my friends who are women often say that when they have to reject a guy, they fear of hurting his feelings or him reacting poorly to the rejection. While it doesn't feel good causing someone pain or disappointment, the priority is your well-being which takes precedence over his feelings.

You started this connection with this person primarily to practice the sport you both enjoy together. You made it clear that not only are you in a relationship, but that you're not looking for the connection to move past being practice partners. If he's violating that boundary while fully knowing you're not available or interested, then that's on him, not you. I'd communicate to him politely but firmly, "Hey, I feel like we aren't on the same page, and I'm not interested in pursuing you romantically. Out of respect for myself and my relationship, I think it's best we don't see each other anymore."

Regarding him seeing your Facebook posts on the group, I personally have a hard time feeling bad for him considering that he ultimately made that choice in not respecting your boundaries. If he was a random stranger, you owe him nothing beyond common courtesy.

Sorry if this came off as harsh, I hope this helps!

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